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Somedays it is hard. It feels like everything is against us. The weather, the traffic, the news, our computers, our work, our health, etc. It can be hard to be really grateful for things when it feels like you are living in a nightmare, but the thing that keeps us going and the things that give a tiny light at the end of a dark tunnel is hope. And real gratitude gives us real hope. Each day this week when you find life is hard, think of the thing that is hard and you perhaps hate, resent or dislike in your life. Now think of three things you love, that you like, that make you smile. Perhaps it's an email or message from someone that is rude. Do not respond. Pause, step away and look out and up to the sky. Focus on a cloud if there are any, if not imagine a cloud taking the bad feelings away. Now look around you or imagine three things that make you smile. A flower, the colour of the sky, a photo of your pets. They can be simple things. Focus on these until your emotions calm before determining if you need to respond. You can do this for many things. Sometimes we will need to deal with the negatives in the world, but the positives give us direction. They are like a north star keeping you focused on your values and beliefs. Let the positives be your compass in negative times. Sunshine Wishes Haulwen

Our home is our sanctuary, our home is where we should feel comfortable and cosy. Our home is where we should feel safe and be really grateful. However its often easy to focus on the negatives of our homes and not the positives, so today use the new moon energy to focus on how you can be truly grateful for your home: Stand in a room and notice 3 things in the room you love (if you live with someone ask each of them what 3 things they love) Now notice 3 things that you don't love (if you live with someone, ask each of them what 3 things they don't love) How do you want this room to look - the colour, the light, lived in or minimalistic etc etc. (ask those you live with too) How do you want this room to feel - a living room you may want to feel calm and cosy and a kitchen bright and lively. What's right for you and those you live? How do you want this room to be used - homework for the kids, reading, watching tv, study etc. and ask those you live with too. Everyday between now and the next full moon do one thing to make this room more what you want it to be - this might be decluttering, cleaning, tidying. adding some plants. changing the furnishing. Painting and decorating. Or just moving things around. Make this room the room you are most grateful for, a safe cosy zone away from the world. Repeat on every new moon for every room in your home. Do one room each time. Sunshine wishes Haulwen

Five simple steps to being really grateful: Each day think of one new thing you love and do the following; What do you see - really describe it, the colours, the shape, the size. What do you hear - notice all the sounds or lack of sounds What does it feel like to touch - perhaps you cannot touch but you can imagine, What does it smell like - or doesn't smell like. If it has no smell what's the smell you imagine. How does it make you feel and where in your body do you feel these sensations. Now sit with these feelings and notice your thoughts and feelings. Is this something you are truly grateful for? An example: I am sitting at the above bench outside my favourite house. I can see the lavender growing in the garden and its scent is wafting through the air, I can see the view across the valley with the river snaking through the fields below. The sky is blue with white fluffy clouds, I imagine they feel like a goose down duvet, all fluffy and light. I can hear the birds chirping in the trees and the wind rustling the leaves. It's a gentle breeze and it feels like a warm kiss on my cheek, the sun is shining on my back and I feel warm inside. I can hear no man-made sounds, just nature. I can feel my heart beating gently, my breath slow and steady as a warmth engulfs me and I feel at bliss. At this moment I am feeling real gratitude. It clears my thoughts, my worries, It makes me still. And I have clarity and energy to make things happen in my life. Now you can write this down, or record it into a mobile phone. Or just think these things. You only need 1 minute. This is how to do real gratitude. Sunshine Wishes Haulwen xx

There was once a woman who complained about having to be grateful for things, she said this to a friend one day as they were sat on a bench together and exclaimed that she saw it as a trend to use gratitude to help with manifesting. She tried it but it didn't work for her, so she decided it was a load of "woo woo" rubbish. The friend looked at their watch saying they needed to dash, and left the woman stewing in her own frustrations. A wise woman heard her words and she smiled to herself, and she went over to her and asked her to tell her what she was doing. The woman was happy to have someone to complaint to and she said everyday she woke up and wrote down 10 things she was grateful for in her journal. She did this everyday for 6 months and she said she felt no better for it, she felt no worse for it but it made no difference to her life in anyway. The wise woman asked her what she would say she was grateful for each day and she said " I have a list" - I write it out each day and it's the same each day. Her list was: I am grateful for my house I am grateful for my food I am grateful for my work I am grateful for my health I am grateful for my husband I am grateful for my family I am grateful for being warm I am grateful for having money I am grateful for my clothes I am grateful for clean water Each day she wrote these words and she ticked off this task on her to do list. She'd been grateful and now she could get on with her day. The wise woman smiled at her and asked "Why those things, why the same each day" and the woman responded " well because I should be grateful for these things because others don't have them" The wise woman asked her " do you love your house" The woman responded " gosh, no I hate it, its rented, its damp. If it was mine I'd refurbish it. I love the location but the house I hate. Its not what i want" The wise woman nodded and asked " do you love your food" The woman responded laughing "not really, I just eat ready meals or whatever is to hand, I am too busy to cook" The wise woman nodded and asked "do you love your work" The woman but her head in her hands and said " I hate it, its draining and tiring I find it a real chore. I wish I could do something else" The wise woman nodded and asked " how is your health" The woman responded " I ache and I am tired, I have brain fog and I struggle to be motivated. The doctors don't know what's wrong with me and I'm fed up" The wise woman nodded and asked "do you love your husband" The woman went red " of course I love my husband" The wise woman nodded and asked " "do you love your family" The woman huffed " well, of course I do" she was starting to get irritated with the wise woman questions. The wise woman nodded and asked "you say you are grateful for being warm and for your clean water" The woman was growing impatient "well they are things we SHOULD be grateful for, so I am" The wise woman nodded and she said " and the clothes you wear, you are grateful for them?" The woman laughed " not really, look at these old rags" pulling at her dark dress. The wise woman nodded and she said "and are you grateful for the having money?" The woman laughed hysterically " Oh my goodness, I have so much debt I don't know whether to laugh or cry" And the wise woman smiled and said " I know you find my questions tedious, but do indulge me for a while longer" "tell me what does it feel like when you are thirsty and you drink clean water and it quenches your thirst" the woman replied " oh it feels refreshing and energising, especially if it's hot and I've forgotten to drink and I take a gulp. Perhaps adding some elderflower cordial, as I prefer it with some flavour rather than on its own" The wise woman nodded " that's real gratitude, now tell me what is your favourite item of clothing" the woman looked into the distance and then back to the wise woman " I have a red dress, it comes to my knee and its got a full skirt which you can twirl in. I never wear it as don't want to ruin it." The wise woman smiled " how does it feel when you wear that dress" The woman responded blushing " Like I'm a girl again, spinning around in a cornflower meadow and the world is sunny and bright. it makes me feel confident and happy" The wise woman nodded and said "that's real gratitude, now tell me three things you adore about your husband" The woman looked to the wise woman with a look of realisation and with a sparkle in her eye " I love the way he cuddles our dog sitting on the lawn when he thinks no one is watching. I love the way he loses himself in music and books, I love the way he laughs at the most ridiculous things" The wise woman nodded " that is real gratitude, tell me what you do love about the location of your home" The woman was sitting up right her should high a smile on her face " It's down a quiet lane, we have no neighbours, the garden slopes down to a field and on the other side is a small lake. In winter mist rolls across it like ghosts, in the summer the blue sky is reflected back in it like a mirror. I can see this view from my kitchen window and I could watch it all day. It changes so much..." Before the wise woman could speak the woman said "... and that is real gratitude" smiling and looking directly at the wise woman. The wise woman nodded. " if we use guilt gratitude because we feel we should be grateful, it will never work for us. but real gratitude is full of power and full of love" The woman nodded, she stood up from the old seat and looked out onto a new day full of gratitude. She closed her eyes breathed in the cool fresh air around her and turned to say thank you to the wise woman, but she had gone. She looked around wondering how she could have left so quietly, and on the seat found a single blue cornflower. Her favourite. She picked it up and looped it through the button hole on her jacket, feeling lighter and happier than she had for many years. That is the magic of real gratitude.

People are often surprised that I love to make. Everyone assumes I am the scientist, or I am someone who likes to learn. But these aren't the things that energise me, these are things i do out of necessity. I relax and get lost in my own world when I cook, when I make herbal concoctions, when I plant up pots in my garden, when I arrange flowers from the flower show, when I rearrange my house. I really relax and zone out when writing my books - a slightly different form of making, but I love the process and my husband has to remind me to eat and drink. I love to take things such as old clothes and turn them into something new, or change them to make them unique. I really want to learn to sew to make my own clothes and to embroider to make my current clothes unique. I also like to guide people and coach them, but often I take existing forms of coaching and make them into my own. This give me energy and this is what I love. But I know it's not for everyone. My husband likes to learn for learning's sake and will deep dive into also sorts of topics for pure pleasure. It's what gives him energy. Whereas the things i do won't give him energy. We are all different and have something different about us that lights us up. Now I love making but it means I also like making in any role I have had and working in the packaging industry for years this means making innovative packaging ideas, I love the innovation side but rarely had chance to delve into it as i was labelled the scientist. I love looking at ways to make things easier, but again I'm never used for this as seen as the scientist. And I love to develop training and watching people grow and flourish. I was put into boxes I didn't want to be so a wilted and left the roles I was in as I wasn't being used for my natural gifts. From an early age we are put into a box and told we should do one thing, but we are human and are multifaceted. We forget this and with it we depleted people. Putting them working in a zone of compliance that they feel they should do and should be grateful for. What do you love to do? What makes you sparkle? Want to find out more check out www.sparketypes.com for a free test on your type.

We all wake and take in the world yet each of us perceives it in a different way. What do you notice first on waking? Perhaps it's the birdsong, or the sound of the wind, the sound of traffic going by, or the silence. Perhaps you notice the light coming through your window, the colours in your room, what you can see as you wake up. For others you may notice the smell, perhaps of lavender on your pillow or if your window is open the smell of rain on hot ground. Whereas others will notice the way the blanket feels on them or perhaps the taste in their mouth. Along with these stimuli you may be noticing how you feel - a weighty feeling in your stomach if you are not looking forward to the day, or perhaps feeling light if the day ahead looks promising. And some of you will be thinking about what you need to do, and getting out of bed and going about your day. We can also be a combination of the above and each of us will perceive the world in a different way. But do you take account for that in your daily interactions? Let;s start with waking - if you are someone who is quite visual then is your bedroom visually appealing to make you want to get out of bed? If you are more auditory is your room quiet enough or too quiet? perhaps smell may impact you so does it feel fresh? Or do the bed clothes feel comfortable? All of the above will impact your sleep and how you wake. But each of us will have different stimuli. So need to find what is right for us. Now think about how you communicate with friends, family and work colleagues. How often do you have a disagreement and can't figure out what has caused it. Often it's a little thing of having a different communication preference. For example one of you might be very logic based and are looking for things to make sense. Where as another may be more focused on decisions based on feel and how it will make you or others feel. Neither of you are being unkind to the other, you are using different language and just like speaking a different language, these communication preferences can lead to misunderstanding and when this happens all the time it can be exhausting and depleting. Take a look at your life and listen to the language you and others use. Think about a presentation - do you prefer something more visual? Perhaps you need the facts? and of course you are been talked to so you can hear what is being discussed. Often those with a feeling preference feel left out, as they can not touch and feel the information (perhaps you doodle or eat during these times). But look at the language people use - someone who is more visual may say I see that, looks good etc. Someone with an auditory preference may say I hear what you're saying, that ring a bell. Someone who is more logical may say that makes sense. And someone more feeling may say yes that feels right to me. Once we understand these preferences in ourselves we can recognise them in others. And then tweak our language to help be understood by others with a different preference. This is a short snippet into communication preferences, but hopefully it gives you insights into why if you are in an environment which doesn't suit you then it can be draining. If you want to learn more on this and other topics I offer one to one coaching in person in Oswestry and via zoom for people not local to me. Just email me haulwen@magicalmojocoach.com for more details. Sign up to my daily inspirational emails to get first news of all blogs HERE.

How often do you feel the true you? How often do you feel you can reflect who you are? Or how often do you mask and "perform" or "behave" in a way expected of you. From an early age we learn that we're too loud, or we're too quiet, we should be seen and not heard. We should behave in certain ways. I did this. I behaved in a way expected of me, as a manager in a senior role, as a woman working in a male dominated world. At school I complied by being the "good girl" as I knew my parents had too much on their plates for me to do anything else. I did the things expected of me, got a good job, pursued a good career, studied the "right" subjects. And like many I wore the masks expected of me. But when you do this all the time you burn out. An example of my own is that many think I am an extrovert. I can talk confidently on a stage about topics I am passionate about, but an extrovert wants to go and chat with everyone afterwards, they get energised from the external world, but form me, I need to revert to somewhere quiet and decompress. I can talk with confidence and passion (introversion shouldn't be mistaken for being shy), but I need lots of time on my own to me happy and healthy. Everyone always says how well planned I am, I'll be honest I'm a last minute person, but I've learned that in some areas of my life I need to plan a bit. Give me jobs needing lots of planning, I can do it, but I find it draining. I like to make things, create something and then move onto the next thing. I am not a completer finisher, but others are. They will find my way or working exhausting and I find their exhausting. Often these parts of us are quashed, to comply with the boxes of schools, workplaces, communities. And that "normal box" doesn't actually exist. As we are all so unique it can't. We can have similarities, but we are not all the same. It's essential we find our authentic archetype as others we can be doing things against our strengths. These things can be draining, and doing them day in and day out as we try to not drop the masks we have put on, is exhausting. Its one of the first things I do with people in my Magical Mojo Academy, on my retreats and in my 1:1 coaching. The look of realisation on most peoples faces. They know this about themselves, but they hide it away and only doing personality tests and other work do they final realise they don't have to live with the masks they wear, they can let them drop and be true to themselves. When they do they can see what drains them and what energises them and start a journey of recovering from burnout and exhaustion. What are the masks you where and why?

From the day we are born we are taught the rules of the society we live in. We know many of these rules and guidelines are there to help and support us, but over time we also find some rules aren't always equal and some expectations aren't equal either. As children enter the schooling system they are taught to comply with tests and grades. Yet what works for one child doesn't work for another. One can be great at tests and another not so. But the world of compliance has started. You didn't pass the test, so you don't comply. In our teenage years we are expected to make decisions about our whole life by the subjects we choose to take. We have expectations from family, from friends, from society as a whole about what is a worthwhile path and what isn't. Science and engineering is often seen as better than the arts, literature and language. And so again we teach our young people to comply. You can't be an artist and scientist. You can't be this and you can't be that. For women in particular there are expectations on how we should behave, dress, look and just be in the world. We're told to have children by a certain age, and we're told we should be grateful even for things we don't enjoy. We're told to comply on our sexuality, and on who we want to be. And as a society we point the finger at those that "don't comply" seeing them as other, and other is scary. In my coaching I often speak with women who have lost themselves to complying to the masks they feel they must wear - mother, daughter, sister, lover, friend, wife, career women etc etc. Often we've been taught to put other peoples needs first - and thus we comply with jobs that sap us of energy. Doing exercise we are told we should do even though we hate it. Watching tv shows we dislike to have something to talk about with the mum's at the school gates or with colleagues over lunch. We're told that if we have a good career, even if its exhausting, we should be grateful. We're taught to accept and to know our place. All of this makes us compliant and when we comply to things which clash with our own value and belief systems, its exhausting. We deplete ourselves because we are lost and often feel alone. Who are we to question, we should be grateful, we should be happy. We comply in what we wear. We comply by dying our hair as grey isn't acceptable. We comply by wearing heels when we want to wear flats, or vice versus, we comply by being polite when we want to rage. We comply by staying in relationships that aren't right for us. We comply by staying friends with energy draining people. We comply by choosing the home we should choose not the one we love. We comply when we give up on our dreams. So many people actually don't even know where their true comfort zone is, the one where they shine brightly, the one where they love life, the one where they know their cosy zone so they can heal. So many have been brought up to comply that they don't have an identity they can call their own. I've done it myself, dimmed my light, wore the dull clothes, didn't get the tattoos I wanted I have them now), to comply. So many people can judge us on so many levels, so it seems easier to comply, but then you dim your light and it can be hard to reignite your flames. Where are you complying in your life? your home? your work? your friends? your hobbies? your family? Check how this compliance is draining you and seek out small changes to make each day to reconnect with your comfort zone. Join my Magical Mojo Academy if you'd like to learn how to drop the masks and regain your energy. You can find out more HERE.

6 months of the year has passed in a whirl of doing stuff. doing things, doing... I crave a moment to just be, to pause, to love life, to look at the flowers. I wish to make the whole world to pause, to be here right now. I wonder if you feel the same. Midsummer can feel a bit bittersweet, the longest day and shortest night, but we know from now until 21st December the days will get shorter (in the Northern hemisphere). Yet the whole summer is ahead of us, and already many of us can feel the need to plan for September, the return to school the preparations for later in the year. What if we could just be. How many of us long for those long summers when as children we played and idled away. What bliss. At the time we have no idea how precious those moments are and as we get older we forget we do have the power to create those moments for ourselves. If this year has been a whirl for you. If you are wondering, how are we at midsummer already then I ask you to take a moment. Look at your plans for the coming months and see where you can cancel the doing and just be. How can you create a moment of bliss where you relax, play and have fun? Can you even remember to have fun? When was the last time you had fun and laughed aloud? It's time to create these moments of magic for ourselves. It's time to carve out time to find what makes us feel comfortable. It's great to expand our comfort zones but this summer, perhaps reconnecting with your comfort zone will be the thing that can help your mind, body and spirit. This summer solstice take these steps towards reconnecting with your comfort zone; before you start take some time and space to carve out time that feels right for you. Ask for help from friends and family to look after the children, or anyone or anything else you feel obligated to put first. Take a day off work or use a weekend. Give yourself time. Take a journal or a note book and answer these questions; How have the last 6 months made you feel? What do you wish you could have done differently? What went well? Did you achieve your goals (if you had any)? celebrate what you've achieved and learn from where you didn't achieve what you want. Where have you expended most of your energy? Over the last 6 months do you think you were operating in your comfort zone? your crisis zone? or your challenge zone? or perhaps a zone of compliance or complacency. Where do you see yourself in December? What will be different in your life? What will you do differently? How will you listen to your own needs? How will you feel? You may want to discuss these questions with a friend. Or journal on them over a few days. You may want to record audio notes. You may want to create art to express your answers, or do a vision board around each question. Below are some of my own personal thought that I am reflecting on; How has the last 6 months made me feel - honestly exhausted, my consultancy work has been busy, I had a bad chest infection December and January and then travelling with work, and then COVID which really has knocked me for six and I am still not back to my normal fitness levels. Mentally, physically or spiritually. What could I have done differently - well I wish I had set up some better systems and process for having to take time off work. Being self employed I don't have the same safety net as I'd like. Also, if I focused on what I love my coaching and training, in particular my membership and my courses I could have materials produced in advance and know that I would still have an income. I was worried I'd end up with more time off from my consultancy work and not be able to pay the bills (even though I have a buffer of money, I still felt insecure). COVID was scary, I should have gone into hospital as my blood oxygen saturation levels dropped to levels that they advise to go to A&E, but I didn't and got a bottle of oxygen from my mum to use. (She has COPD so has oxygen in the house). I have taken so many precautions to avoid COVID and this was my first bout. And I've never felt so ill before. I'm not sure I could have prepared for the illness better, but I think I can prepare for having illness better. Want went well - I made some new contacts and friendships at an event I attended. I did my talk at Booka in Oswestry which resulted in me opening up to face to face coaching clients again, which has been fabulous. The bouts of illness have really made me realise how much I want to focus on my coaching, training and writing. And my illness has made me stop working at weekends and evenings, book an office space in my local town to dedicate time to my writing, coaching and training. I'm not sure I'd have done any of that without the COVID scare. Did I achieve my goals? - some yes - my Booka talk, finishing the proposal for my new book which I am really excited about, and taking my own advice and resting more. I've learnt I expect that I can do far too much in a day and realise I am actually very productive and need to stop beating myself up for not having achieved more. That's the hustle ingrained message in my subconscious always nagging away at me, and now I am quietening that voice. Where have I expended most of my energy - sorting out my house due to the multiple issues we had with a boiler being replaced, a leak in a bathroom so 3 rooms needing replastering and painting. The house is still in turmoil as with the ill heath I haven't done as much as I wanted. Also, healing from health issues. Travel - I've done a lot more and I forget how tiring it is. My consultancy work, which has been really busy and it's very technical so takes a lot of concentration. Over the last 6 months do you think you were operating in your comfort zone? your crisis zone? or your challenge zone? or perhaps a zone of compliance or complacency. - well I can say I've been operating in a bit of a mini crisis zone with some of the issues we'd had in the house and then my health issues. Definitely a compliance zone - I'm still doing too much of what I think I should do and not enough of what I want to do. I have been challenging myself in some areas but actually pulled back as I need to focus on healing so I need to really get into my cosy zone to do this and my comfort zone to do all he wonderful things I love like coaching, training and writing which really light me up. Where do you see yourself in December? What will be different in your life? What will you do differently? How will you listen to your own needs? How will you feel? - oh this is such a good question (even if it is my own) - In December i would like to have a confirmed book deal and me writing my book and heading towards a publication date. My house will be decluttered after all the mayhem. I'll be doing more of what I love and spending more time healing. Things I'll do differently - I'm carrying on with Wednesdays focused on my passions, I am loving having space to do this. I'm planning on doing more creative things to spark my mind, body and spirit. I'm taking time to read more. And focusing on the here and now to create a new future. I'll listen to my needs by pausing each day and checking in with my body, checking in with my mind and checking in with my spirit. I need magic and wonder in my life, so I'll be looking for this everyday and finding lots of opportunities to do this too. and I will feel alive, magical, relaxed and confident. I hope seeing how I answered these questions has inspired you to do this exercise. If you'd like support in going through these questions I'll be doing a zoom session for members of my Magical Mojo Academy in the coming weeks and the doors are open to join as part of my founding members program, which I've been running over the last few years as I play with the best approach to online coaching membership. If you'd like to join you can find out more here

Imagine an oak tree, broad branches reaching out to the sky and stretching out as wide as it can grow. Its roots reach down into the depths of the earth for water and for nutrients. The leaves on their branches photosynthesis to provide vital nutrients for their growth. In ideal conditions, the tree flourishes and produces a bumper crop of acorns, which feed the wildlife around it and some germinate to become new trees. This tree has the perfect temperatures for growth, perfect levels of rainfall, no winds to damage its branches, and the daylight length is perfect for its growing conditions. It's warm when it needs it to be and cold when it needs to hibernate. This is the tree's cosy zone. The tree is sturdy and if there is a breeze it can tolerate this, if the rainfall isn't quite right it can tap into its stores and it can reach down further into the ground to gain moisture. It has lots of coping mechanisms for slight changes in the environment and this is the tree's comfort zone. But the natural world isn't like this, and some years there will be drought and other years flooding, some years its colder than expected and others hotter than expect and often the tree can find this a challenge, it has ways to reduce the water loss by losing its leaves early, its got ways of slowing down and not producing so many acorns to preserve its energy and resources. This is its challenge zone. But sometimes those conditions are even harsher, the tree can lose a branch in a storm, and its roots can become unstable with constant rain making the ground soft. These are extremes that can push it into its crisis zone, but sometimes the crisis is because it has challenges year on year of low rainfall, hot weather, and cold winters. The first year it copes ok, but each subsequent year it stops putting out new growth and acorn production stops or diminishes, it's so depleted all it can do is barely hang on and survive. And in some cases, the tree doesn't make it. So what about you? As I've mentioned in previous blogs, we live in a world trying to push us out of our comfort zone and telling us all it's a bad place. We'd never do that to the oak tree, we know it needs to be comfortable to flourish. Yet as humans, we think the rules are different. That we should keep on going even though we feel wilted and depleted. How many of you try to work when you are ill, instead of taking time to recuperate? We live in a society where we're deemed "lazy" and "wimps" for taking time off to heal. So we are made to feel guilty. And pile guilt on ourselves too. What if we stopped and looked at how doing this time and time again is pushing us out of a challenge zone and into our crisis zone? How our work hard and keep going mantra is burning us out. I see so many people who feel like this but feel they must keep going. Since when did rest become a bad thing? From today I want you to consider yourself a tree - what do you need to nourish your mind, body and spirit? How will you water yourself to ensure you flourish? Think of the acorn and seeds as your dreams and ideas. If you operate constantly in a stress response you end up operating in your crisis zone all the time. And the first thing to happen is you let go of your dreams. You drop your leaves which could represent your values and beliefs. And you just survive instead of thriving. Have a look at your life. Are you in a crisis zone? Sign up for daily inspiration and regular blog updates HERE

It's a spring day as I talk about our cosy zone and comfort zone. Yet when we think of cosiness we often think about curling up in front of fires, with hot chocolate, blankets and snuggling against the autumn chills. Autumn is my favourite time of year, but I can feel cosy at other times too, and all of us have things that make us feel safe, make us feel cosy and comfortable. When we feel at peace, away from the stresses and worries of the world. Our cosy zone is a place where we heal, a place where we can let down every mask we wear, drop every barrier and just be true to our authentic selves. True magic happens in our cosy zone, true magic happens when we melt into ourselves when we can be still. When we can be in the moment and love and dream and just be. The cosy zone is where we embrace all of our preferences, where everything is easy. It's where we can do things without thinking, it's where we heal our minds, our bodies and spirits. There are different zones we talk about and the comfort zone has got a bad name, but the clues in the name of the comfort zone should be comfortable. Have you ever heard of someone getting their best idea when they are in a crisis? When we are in crisis many of our systems shut down to focus on the fight or flight response to get us out of the situation. It's not a time for dreaming, it's not a time for daydreaming, it's not a time for going with the flow and looking for inspiration in the world or looking for magic and wonder. In our crisis zone, we are fighting for survival and it's often a bad place to make long-term decisions as you can be operating in a stress response which is far away from who you are normally. Many entrepreneurs, artists, and authors get their ideas when they are in the shower, their dreams, or on long walks in the countryside. They may get it climbing a mountain if that's comfortable to them, but it's somewhere they are in a state of flow and feel safe and easy with the world. But many of us operate in a zone of compliance being who we think we should be and doing what we think we should do. Or have become complacent with our lives and aren't looking at ways to expand our comfort zones so inadvertently retreat them for no good reason. Retracting your comfort zone is often necessary in times of trauma so you can focus on what's important and heal, but if done from a view of complacency then it's not good. I recently watched Chris Hemsworth on the National Geographical channel doing some challenges and it really highlighted to me how we get the comfort zone mixed up. he said a few times he was out of his comfort zone and I thought "Nope, you are at the edge of your comfort zone, possibly in the challenge zone" but if he was fully outside his comfort zone he would not have done what he did. So here are the scenarios he was faced with; 1) Being lost in the wilderness with no map, no form of navigation - he was flown over the area first with a friend and then they had to navigate to a certain point in this wilderness. Would you do this? Chris said he went hiking regular but had maps and navigation systems and phones. This time they were missing these, so it was something he was very comfortable with, they just took away a few tools to move it towards the edge of his comfort zone, to make it a little more challenging, but I'll be honest I don't think it was really uncomfortable. I ask this question of people if they would do this challenge, as I'd happily do this, it may be more challenging in a foreign country but I'd do it. Being in the wilds of nature is in my comfort zone. I know I have a good sense of direction, I literally can point north wherever I am and it's correct to a compass. But when I speak to some people this horrifies them, the very thought brings them out in hot sweats, and their fight or flight response kicks in, this would be in their crisis zone. 2) Chris also had the challenge to walk across a crane on a high-rise building. Now Chris was nervous and the TV was saying it was really challenging for him, but as a man who has done many of his own stunts in his films, we know he doesn't have a hatred of heights. A cautious dislike, which is a good safety mechanism, but not an all-out fear. My husband would do this, he'd be nervous like Chris was so very much at the edge of his comfort zone, but like Chris with the practice and training, he'd do it. The very thought of this makes me sick. I wouldn't even get in the lift, no amount of training could make me do this. I'll be honest I'd rather take on a wild animal and fight it than walk across this crane at height. Nope, never, not ever. It's my crisis zone and my response is to freeze. 3) There was another challenge for Chris which was pulling himself up into a cable car up a rope over a ravine. Like the exercise above he had safety ropes, but even with training my freeze response would come in and I could not do it. I know I'd be a danger to everyone around me, as well as myself if I did. Again my husband would do it with training. 4) Then there was a challenge to do an open water swim, without a wet suit, in freezing winter water in Iceland. Now, I'm not a great fan of the idea, but with training, I would do this because swimming outdoors is in my comfort zone, as long as it's a safe place. I am conscious when I am too comfortable I can get a bit blasé and not see the danger. So, I do stop myself sometimes and my husband has to keep an eye on me (like I do with him wanting to climb high things). But doing this challenge, as Chris did, with proper training, a medic team and a rescue team, yes I'd train to do that, it's right on the edge of my comfort zone really getting a bit challenging, but not so challenging that I wouldn't hesitate to say OK, I'll give it a go. My husband is a firm "no" on this one. He will do the height ones, but not the cold water challenges. And this is where we can mix up what's in our comfort zone and what isn't. We are told that comfort zone there is no energy, it's a bad place that drains us. No magic happens there, but outside the comfort zone, there is only a challenge zone which borders it. But anything in the challenge zone should be challenging. Though not so far out that we feel so much discomfort that it depletes us, stresses us in bad ways and makes us ill. Which many of us do. Then the compliance zone that so many of us do with our careers and how we work, we comply with what we think we should do. The role we can do, we will do it easily over time due to us repeating it. But if you get up for work each day and dread the role or the place then it's depleting and draining. We burn out and get exhausted. As mentioned some people will just be complacent and because of it their comfort zone retracts, they may not feel uncomfortable in their role but equally they. We have a society now where comfort is frowned upon. We should be learning new things all the time and should never get comfortable with anything. Yet we know that we enter our zone of genius by being able to do something with ease, in our comfort zone. When we learn to ride a bike initially we have no idea how, but over time we can ride it without thinking. Initially, it can feel incredibly challenging but over time you don't have to think about it. You may expand your cycling comfort zone by riding for longer, doing mountain bike riding, or road racing, but ultimately the more you do it the more comfortable it becomes, that's not a bad thing. And by building on it you can become an expert doing something you love, not because you've been told to do it. I could write on this forever with so many examples, but I want you to reclaim your comfort zone, and embrace your cosy zone. We thrive in our comfort zones, the challenge zone that surrounds it is part of our comfort zone ecosystem. But we've been made to feel like the crisis zone, that place right over there is where we should be and that's why we are depleted, that's why there's an exhaustion epidemic and that's why we are falling out of love with life. To thrive we must be comfortable. Animals and plants thrive in the right conditions for each of their unique species and we as humans thrive in the right conditions for each of our personalities. Which are as unique as our DNA. 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CARIAD - is a magical and beautiful Welsh word for love, beloved, and darling. - it has a deeper meaning than just love. It’s about a depth of love that cannot be described in words alone. It’s about how love makes you feel, what you see, and how you hear it. What does love smell like to you, what does it taste like, and what does love make you think? They say that all you need is love, and it can heal the most depleted heart, the most depleted mind, the most depleted spirit, and the most depleted body. You must start with loving yourselves; you have to start with knowing yourselves before you can replenish and nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Are you ready to fall in love with you? What if you could love yourself like you love others? What if you could love yourself like you love dancing in the summer rain, like chasing rainbows, like watching the moon and the stars, or like curling up and watching your favourite TV show eating chocolates? It’s time to truly love you, and when you love yourself, you can nourish every layer of your being. You can love your mind and its beautiful intricacies. You can love your body for all its beautiful, imperfect flaws. You can love the spirit that you often keep hidden away from the prying eyes of the world. When you’re depleted, it’s often because you’ve forgotten to love yourselves or you feel you are unworthy of love. You listen to the thoughts and words of your peers, your family, your friends and societal expectations and you continue to follow a path that wasn’t designed for you, but for others. It’s like clipping the wings of a bird and still expecting it to fly and soar. You have to remember that in losing the connection to yourself that you don’t lose yourselves as such, you lose your connection to self and you bury it under layers of compliance, upbringing, “should do’s” and “What if’s”. Every time you add a layer, you lose your connection and become more depleted. It’s a bit like when you move further away from your internet router, the signal gets weaker until it disconnects completely. When you disconnect there is something missing, and you don’t notice it for some time. Initially, things are slower and then it’s gone, and sometimes it can take a while to reconnect. Sometimes moving closer to what is important to you helps with that reconnection, just like if you move closer to the router. But sometimes the signal is still weak and like our WIFI router, you need to turn it off and on to allow a reset to reconnect to your authentic self and to be in love with who you truly are. I have forgotten to love myself so many times it’s hard to keep count, yet I have acquired a deeper understanding of my needs and from it, I’ve devised The CARIAD method® to help me and to help you feel replenished and nourished during exhausting times. The CARIAD Method® helps you to reconnect and reset. It helps you to find the true meaning of rest, nourishment, and rejuvenation, so you can thrive again. It’s based on my own experiences of becoming disconnected from myself and becoming depleted. It's designed to be used to look at yourself as a magical holistic being whose mind, body and spirit are as unique as your fingerprint, your DNA or the iris of your eye. Let’s fall in love with you. I’d like you to think of the CARIAD method® as a star within a circle. Some call this a pentacle, but for me it fits really well for the CARIAD method®. The outer circle is your comfort zone and the inner pentagon is your cosy zone. To create our comfort zone and inner cosy zone we need to work with the remaining parts of the CARIAD method® to balance our comfort zone, so it is ready to be expanded or retracted as we need to and to create our cosy zone as a place to heal. C- Creating your unique comfort and cosy zones A - Authentic Archetype R - Real Gratitude I - Inspired Intuition A - Acceptance of me, myself and I. D -Dedicated daydreaming 1: Creating your comfort and cosy zones Step 1 – Creating your comfort and cosy zones - we need to create the ideal comfort & cosy zones for our mind, body and spirit to allow them to heal, and thus to thrive. 2: Authentic Archetypes Step 2 – a journey of rediscovery to reconnect with our authentic archetype so we can learn to truly understand what makes us thrive and what drains us, mentally, physically and spiritually. 3: Real gratitude Step 3 - how to truly express real gratitude, ditch the guilt gratitude of what we should be grateful for and really feel the gratitude, so that we know what is truly right for our mind, body and spirit. 4: Inspired Intuition Step 4 – how to tap into our inspiration to inspire us and thus energise ourselves on a daily basis, so our mind, body and spirit can thrive, from our own internal resources. Often we do not need external energy angels, we have the power within us. 5: Acceptance of me, myself and I. Step 5 – Acceptance of oneself is often the hardest lesson. But until we do this and accept our body, mind and spirit for all of our imperfections. We will always diminish our energy and feel drained of life and essence. This is so hard for many women and tits about a gradual step to acceptance. 6: Dedicated daydreaming 6 – Embracing the power of daydreaming to help us problem solve, and find solutions within. Daydreaming has been demonised and seen as a waste of time. We need to embrace it again as it's a way for our brains to provide solutions and energise. Over the coming months, I'll talk more about the CARIAD method ® and the exhaustion epidemic and how to cope in depleting times.