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  • Writer's pictureHaulwen Nicholas

Authentic archetypes

How often do you feel the true you? How often do you feel you can reflect who you are? Or how often do you mask and "perform" or "behave" in a way expected of you.

From an early age we learn that we're too loud, or we're too quiet, we should be seen and not heard. We should behave in certain ways.

I did this.

I behaved in a way expected of me, as a manager in a senior role, as a woman working in a male dominated world. At school I complied by being the "good girl" as I knew my parents had too much on their plates for me to do anything else. I did the things expected of me, got a good job, pursued a good career, studied the "right" subjects. And like many I wore the masks expected of me. But when you do this all the time you burn out.

An example of my own is that many think I am an extrovert. I can talk confidently on a stage about topics I am passionate about, but an extrovert wants to go and chat with everyone afterwards, they get energised from the external world, but form me, I need to revert to somewhere quiet and decompress. I can talk with confidence and passion (introversion shouldn't be mistaken for being shy), but I need lots of time on my own to me happy and healthy.

Everyone always says how well planned I am, I'll be honest I'm a last minute person, but I've learned that in some areas of my life I need to plan a bit. Give me jobs needing lots of planning, I can do it, but I find it draining.

I like to make things, create something and then move onto the next thing. I am not a completer finisher, but others are. They will find my way or working exhausting and I find their exhausting.

Often these parts of us are quashed, to comply with the boxes of schools, workplaces, communities. And that "normal box" doesn't actually exist. As we are all so unique it can't. We can have similarities, but we are not all the same.

It's essential we find our authentic archetype as others we can be doing things against our strengths. These things can be draining, and doing them day in and day out as we try to not drop the masks we have put on, is exhausting.

Its one of the first things I do with people in my Magical Mojo Academy, on my retreats and in my 1:1 coaching. The look of realisation on most peoples faces. They know this about themselves, but they hide it away and only doing personality tests and other work do they final realise they don't have to live with the masks they wear, they can let them drop and be true to themselves. When they do they can see what drains them and what energises them and start a journey of recovering from burnout and exhaustion.

What are the masks you where and why?

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