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Tips on shifting the January blues It's January, and although the days are getting longer, it can still feel like the world is so dark. Even more so in a lockdown situation. Many people are finding being at home and not interacting with the world is overwhelming. Anxiety and depression levels spike at this time of year normally but more so in this crisis. You may be feeling trapped and many are finding that if they are working, work is intense and add in home schooling, looking after vulnerable relatives and the general doom and gloom in the world, no wonder everyone is feeling a bit down. (also, it feels a long time since last pay day for many people). You'll be expecting me to tell you to focus on self-care, to go for a walk, have some "me time". but actually I want you to connect with your blue. What does your blue look like - mine is like a blue gremlin, with a little pot belly, sulking in the corner and today I am asking my blue what does he need. My blue normally wants food, drink and shopping - they are my blues addictions for getting out of sad times. (It helps to name your blue, I just call mine blue but you can give it any name you want.) -But what does my blue really want? I actually know that yesterday my blue enjoyed arranging flowers, that my blue likes cat cuddles but also that my blue wants to be on its own just me and blue working through this time together. Now I am an introvert so I know sometimes me and my blue just need some time and when we reconnect with each other and be true to ourselves then we feel better. For those of you with a preference towards extroversion then your blue may need to talk it through with a friend - it's not the same on video, but make it fun, and talk to each other like your blues are chatting. Sometimes we have to embrace the blue and understand it to come out of it. Equally if your blue is dragging you down and everything feels hopeless or your blue is whizzing around like a Tasmanian devil then it may be time to seek help. With friends, family, your doctor. Reaching out in the a friendly Facebook group like Psychologies Life Leap group or contacting one of the many charities out there where you can get someone to talk to. The first step is recognising your blue. When you name it, you can own it and you can control it. Love and Light Haulwen The Magical Mojo Coach

How getting lost can help you find your true path I've been lost many times - emotionally and spiritually. (Though never physically as I seem to have a built-in compass) and this year has been a year I've lost my way again. I'd lost my way before COVID, a husband who almost died, a husband who was ill, my mom having pneumonia then a stroke, plus running my own business and trying to do what I do, be there for everyone. And then COVID struck. For me, I have been busy, lots of work, more work than I can handle, but I said yes to it all. My husband constantly talking about how his company is going to go under, how he might not have a job when he comes off furlough, so I did what I do and said yes to everything even though it was exhausting and not what makes me shine. I put my real dreams on hold, the real Haulwen in her box and dimmed her sparkle and magic to earn the cash to pay the bills to pay off the debts. For those of you who know me, you'll know that I have two businesses The Packaging Oracle my packaging consultancy (21 years working in the industry focused on packaging optimisation) and my Magical Mojo Coach where I run online coaching programmes to help women to reconnect with their mojo, their inner wise. With all of the work I had, it came to my packaging business, so I put on hold my coaching business as something had to give. Even though this is what I love. I was even going to pack the whole coaching thing in because I don't like selling and with my packaging consultancy people come to me so I don't have to sell. But one wonderful thing stopped me, a book. Not any old book, but the book I'd being commissioned to write and the book says I am a coach. And I am a coach, but I felt guilty for charging people for doing something I love. But that book and the fact it's being published saying I am a coach is what has reminded me that that is what I am, but the writing of the book helped me in more ways than I could have imagined. It's about personality type testing and of course where I could, I needed to do the tests, and although I'm a trained Myers Briggs practitioner and have already done a lot of work on reconnecting with my self, I still learnt more (and will continue to until I die) and some of those things really made me realise what it is that makes me shine. You see I'd made a similar mistake that I had before. I'd listened to what other people told me I was. People told me I was good at coaching, so that's what I did, just like my teachers told me I was good at science so I did science like people say I am good at packaging so I do packaging. I'd fallen into my own trap and what I thought was following my dreams was actually me people-pleasing again. You're confused, aren't you? How can you say you are a coach but not be a coach? Well, the thing is I am full of ideas. I love creating and then love sharing my knowledge with others, but once its created I get bored and move on. My initial idea 3 years ago had been to set up an online training platform to make coaching affordable but a business coach talked me out of it and told me to focus on packaging. Then I did some face to face coaching, and although I adore helping people and it lights me up when they get a breakthrough. It also didn't feel quite right. So, in the end, I launched my online coaching program and loved creating brand new content every month, then moving on to the next idea to share with the women in my program. But something wasn't quite right, the things happening in my life were distracting me, but the program wasn't feeling like I wanted it too. So COVID and my work on packaging made me put the program on hold and my book made me keep in mind that actually I love this but need to make it work for me. And that break has been as good as a rest. I've realised I was trying to be what everyone thinks a coach should be and instead I need to do my program as I want to do it, because I love making and creating new ways to help people, I love taking ideas and sharing them but adapting them to my own style, and I love being able to pass my knowledge to others. I realise that selling in the way we are "taught" to sell isn't what works for me, I am all about connection. I've done lots of work on my money mindset and I'm blown away by how that's changed my world. And now the hard work on packaging is making me be able to pay off whole credit cards in one go, clearing my debts to remove a weight from myself that's been holding me back from being the maker and creator that I am. But also realising I can do the same with my packaging knowledge because I want to share my knowledge and help people and ponit them in the right direction but always do it in my own quirky witchy way. So I've got lost again, but like any time you get lost, it teaches you something or takes you somewhere that you wouldn't have expected. I'm still in the wild parts of the path, but I like the wild parts. I can see the way forward and I can see how this diversion has helped me to regain perspective and for me to grow and be true to me. Haulwenx

It's Valentines week. It's the season of "love", or that's what every marketing company would have us believe. We're not complete until we find "our other half" "our soul mate" "the one". But perhaps that's where we all go wrong. We are programmed so much to focus on looking for love in the world around us that we forgot that all love starts with us. Love starts with me loving me and you loving you. But how can we do this in a world where the messages are so mixed. If we look in the mirror and like what we see we're considered "conceited" "arrogant". If we don't like what we see we are "neurotic". The messages bombard us "too skinny" "too fat", "too pretty" "too plain" "too ugly". "They've let themself go" - I could go on, but I'm sure you've heard this already. It's hard to break through all the noise around us and how are we to find love if we do not love ourselves? I recently attended a burlesque for body confidence day with Venus Gallacatica the morning of the event I was terrified. I was about to dance around in my undies with 4 women I'd never met before (though to be honest it would have been more terrifying with friends) and it really opened up a lot of things for me about loving myself. I thought I'd come a long way before that day, but I recognised I have some way to go. We practised our moves in front of a mirror and I immediately started comparing myself to the other women. I've lost about 2 stone in weight in the last 12 months and had been feeling really good about the way I looked, but I still compared myself to them, thinking they were "slimmer" " had better legs" "were sexier" than me and I did have to give myself a bit of an internal slap. Here I was comparing myself to a woman around 6ft tall. I am 5ft 4 inch. She said she felt like a giraffe, I felt like a squat leg dwarf. There was no need to compare, no need to judge, but it's ingrained into our DNA. Over the next few weeks, I contemplated this and wondered about some of the many reactions I'd had and decided it's time for me to take the next step on my journey to loving myself. to get over my FEAR, of actually loving every part of me. I can see how my lack of self-love has impacted relationships and also my business. I keep returning to the things I don't enjoy in life, almost like a self-punishment to show "I don't deserve a life that I love" But how can I have a life that I love when I'm not loving me deep down. How can I have deep meaningful friendships or just fun friendships if I can't love myself? I blow hot and cold with friends because I think that "they are too busy" "they have people they'd really want to talk to or be with" "that I'm a nuisance" "that I'm weird and they're only talking to me to be polite", "that they only accepted my friend request - which I regretted sending as soon as I sent it - to be nice and not offend me" The side of my business that is highly successful and is not the side I love, but its the side I know I can do because I did it for 20 years. The two elements of my business I love, coaching and writing, the bits that light me up like a lighthouse covered in fairy lights, I neglect. So it's time to change and it's time for me to look at what love means to me. What does love mean to you? For me, I need to focus on my love of the way I look, the way I am, to my inner wise woman. To be true to me. So I'm starting small. Firstly I am reconnecting with me and who I am. In Myers Briggs personality types I am an INFP and when I am true to this and I am happy I am naturally awkward and a bit goofy and weird. Funnily enough, I find these incredibly attractive traits in other humans but not in myself and when I saw this recent quote "if you have never seen the energetic, clumsy and adorable side of an INFP it means you have never made one happy" (From INFPtribe) - it felt incredibly true to me and actually if I love these traits in others, its time to love them in myself. I need to listen more to my heart, not my head. When I'm stressed I fall out of love with feeling and become a logical nightmare. (A typical stress response of my type). I feel guilty for doing things I love. So as its the week of "love" I'm focusing on loving myself a little bit more every day; I need to listen more to my heart, not my head. When I'm stressed I fall out of love with feeling and become a logical nightmare. (A typical stress response of my type). I feel guilty for doing the things I love, but also I'm laughing that it's taken me this long to figure that out. I actually like my body and other than wanting to be more supple and having some more muscle tone, actually its pretty good for a woman who's not really loved it that much, and I do love dressing quirky, that's who I am. I like the way my mind works. I imagine it's like an old bookshop with loads of dusty books on loads of topics, some not so dusty that do get used more than others, and loads of filing cabinets with papers spewing out of them, with a few fairy's flitting about trying to remember where they put everything, whilst the cats dive around the place making piles of books scatter to the floor and my inner witch snoozes in the corner by the wood-burning stove. I'm surprised when people describe me as highly organised and efficient. Believe me, I'm winging it, doing everything last minute because I got distracted by a rainbow. I like who I am and I am no longer going to compromise my values and beliefs. So I will always look for the good in everyone, I will strive to be kind and patient, help where I can, try and make people smile. I'll outwardly respond in childlike wonder to the magic and wonder in the world and be forever curious. I love positivity and will always focus on this. I will make connections with positive happy people who light me up and will assume as they are speaking to me, that they want to speak with me. I will overthink less and just be, more. I will be proud of my coaching and writing and love the people I help with my words. And I will celebrate this life more and more. I already love so many aspects of my life and I will love everything I have now and then everything I dream of will become my reality. Only by loving myself right down into my inner wise woman, when I really embrace my inner witch and make her my outer witch, will I really be true to love myself. As I love myself, the right people will come into my life and my life becomes a life I love every day. This Valentines week, what can you do to love yourself a little bit more? When you believe and you love you, then you will have the life you love and if you want it the love from an external person, not necessarily your soul mate. But the love that's right for you, right now at this time. Love and Light Haulwen x If you'd like to know more about Myers Briggs personality type testing or more on how to love you please feel free to; Join my free Facebook group The Mojo Coaching Club

As January fades into memory we embrace a new beginning, a new month a turn in the seasons we enter into Imbolc a sabbat festival between the Winter Solstice (21st Dec) and the Vernal Equinox (20 - 21 March). Imbolc is a time when life begins to awaken from its winter hibernation, it’s a time for preparing for the brighter, lighter warmer days that are soon to come. This is a time to make new plans and when new ideas are planted, ready for fruition later in the year. It's a time for letting go of what we don't need, stuff, people, emotions, anything that is stopping us from moving forward. It's also a time to start thinking of what we'd like to welcome into our lives. What do you want to be different in the days ahead? It doesn't matter if you have a particular faith or not, this is a time to daydream about what your future could hold. It's a time of contemplation and reconnecting with you. Think of your rhythms, where are you now? Where do you want to be? Listen to that inner wise inside you and focus on what your mind, body and soul are saying, listen to your natural rhythms, listen to your intuition. Heal. Breathe. Love. For you it may be a walk in nature, or reading a book by the fire - only you know what it is that heals and nourishes you and by stepping back and focusing on this you can lay the foundations for a bright new future. We wouldn’t sign up for a marathon and not prepare for it and the same applies to all other aspects of your life. So use this as a time to prepare. Let go of any feelings of guilt for spending time doing this, as it is what will make you more attuned to your needs and desires. Start looking for the signs of growth and opportunity. You will see them all around you. Embrace what feels right. Find the things and embrace those things that let you light up inside. The more of us who shine our light the more we can help others to shine theirs too. Release the negative emotions, the negative thoughts that you are holding onto from your past. Take a step each day in your own unique way to be whatever it is you want to be. Imbolc blessings Want to know more join my free Facebook Group The Mojo Coaching Club

This blog is more of a question than an answer. It's something to think about and to ponder. You see, I've been watching a lot of sport over the last few weeks, or seeing highlights of various sports and I've noticed that in all of these sporting arenas where teams are playing, that there is a lot of hugging. Loads when they win and condolence hugs when they lose (though not so many). Now all the sport I've watched has been male sport - football, rugby, highlights of the cricket and all have the same theme. Men hugging. And I mean proper bear hugs, proper proper hugs and not just from the players but also the fans in the stadiums hugging each other too. (the latter only when their team wins). We are constantly talking about mental health and emotional issues particularly for men. And I know from men in my own life that it's difficult for many men to express their emotions as they are expected to "man up" etc. Yet when it comes to sport it is perfectly acceptable for men to hug, to cry, to shout, to express their emotions freely and it got me wondering why? You see, I'm a person who loves to hug, but also hate hugging or actual physical contact. Take for example the Kiss on cheek, or air kiss greeting that is done across Europe and quite prevalent in the South of the UK. I find this really awkward, firstly is it one kiss, two or even three? How do you know and not end up in that awkward moment where you bang heads or almost kiss on lips (Eww!) Is it an actual kiss i.e. lips to skin or is it an air kiss? Do you hug when you kiss like this? What are you supposed to do with your hands? How close should you be? Is it appropriate? How do you know who to kiss? (I know I'm overthinking this, but honestly that's what goes through my head every time this happens, though less so with friends). I find it particularly difficult in my professional career - not the coaching side, but the packaging consultancy I do. It feels weird to be "kissing" new clients, colleagues and I'm conscious I end up looking like an idiot and find it best to say "sorry British have no idea how many times I'm supposed to kiss". Equally in London I'm just called a Northern for having to switch into kissing and hugging over shaking hands. (The amount of times someones gone in for a cheek kiss and I'm putting out my hand to shake hands with them! Honestly its awkward!). When it comes to hugging in general I was always weird about it. If I like you I will hug you until I break your ribs and never let you go. I hug my friends, I air kiss my friends and even women I've met at recent events more related to coaching, its felt fine and not weird. I naturally am a bit of a "hug dealer" for people I think need it, some elderly ladies and gents in my village. Friends in need, family where I feel comfortable. And some people I have to really, really resist the urge to hug them and hold onto them for dear life. But other times to give a hug is something I struggle to do and I struggle to receive. And I actively avoid it. So watching all of these men hugging each other on TV in front of thousands of fans got me wondering and I don't know the answer. Why is it that men hug at such sporting events? Why is this acceptable when I bet a lot of these men don't hug like this at home with family or friends? (Especially the men in the crowd). I asked my husband and he couldn't answer but remembered going to matches as a kid and everyone hugging each other when their team scored, but then actively tried to avoid physical contact afterwards. If the world finds it so acceptable for men (and women) to share their emotions in sporting arenas why isn't it accepted in the rest of society? How do we make it acceptable to show our emotions? And now of course hugging is a bit more of a Russian roulette game. When is a hug sexual harassment? I think we have to know our own judgements and I know as a child I hated the "hugs" and used to push everyone away. So we shouldn't enforce a hug on anyone, (I love the videos of the kids touching an image of which greeting they prefer hug, high five, dance, shake hands, etc, when entering the classroom) and we should teach our children to know they can say no to unwanted hugs, but the way footballers, cricketers, rugby players hug each other is so natural and so genuine its really made me wonder what stops us all from being able to embrace hugging as a natural authentic response (where we know instinctively when its right or wrong?) And why is it that men can express this so openly in these arenas? I was talking to a lady the other day about hugging. She'd lost her husband a few years ago and now she longs for hugs, but also realises she never gave any to her children until they were adults. Upbringing and social expectations have meant hugging wasn't something people did, but now? Now is it more acceptable in the right circumstances? Now is it finally becoming OK to show our emotions? Or is it when our emotions overtake us that we feel drawn to hug in such public displays as these team events. The joy at scoring a goal does it elevate and override the social constricts we have in place. I don't know the answer, I don't really know the question. But this has intrigued me. I'd love to hear what you think or what do the people in your life think? Haulwen The Magical Mojo Coach

Like everyone I have been on that eternal quest to find the best self-care solutions for me. I looked high and I looked low, and I tried everything to alleviate the stress in my life and to bring about balance. I indulged in weekly massage, reflexology, acupuncture, osteopathy, herbalism, aromatherapy - everything to patch my gaping wounds of exhaustion. I shopped and I shopped, buying clothes and shoes, make up and candles, oils and lotions, flowers, cakes, chocolates and treats. I deserved them I worked hard. I needed self-care, this is what we do. I binged on food, on alcohol, on books, on films. I tried the gym but it was so hard, how could anyone find this fun, I spent more and more money on more and more things and "experiences" to help me find myself. Eventually I broke. I'd broken a few times before but this time I knew it was a serious break and I needed to stop. After leaving my corporate job I felt lost, for about 12 months I stumbled around trying to find my way, I managed, I found I didn't need money the same or the stuff or the experiences. I needed time. After 16 months of floundering I had a week on my own in a cottage in Wales, I found myself, I reconnected with my true self, my inner wise woman, my inner witch, I felt like me. But how did I make this new world work for me? What was missing? In answer I went down with vertigo for 6 weeks. My body reflecting the dizziness and nausea in my mind. I had to stop. I had to turn down work, I cried. I couldn't walk, I could barely get to the bathroom without falling over. I had to hand over to everyone else and in my world everyone else was ill too. As my world steadied I realised I couldn't continue living like this and I had to stop chasing the elusive dreams and start focusing on me, in the here and now. It started with walking 2,000 steps a day before Christmas, over time I built up my steps getting to 10,000 steps a day. I walked in torrential rain, in blazing sun, in snow, wind, ice and thunderstorms. I started with walks on the flat and then started walking further, adding in hills and inclines. Walking around the village, across the fields, through the woods. I watched the natural seasons evolve around me, saw the change in the light, watched the birds flying in leafless trees and then in trees full of leaves. I sat on bridges watching the water rush through after the rain, or trickle along when it was dry. I breathed. My walks meant I felt stronger and healthier and with it I started to crave healthy foods. I lost over 2 stone in weight (and its still going, though more slowly). As my body got more toned I found the gym easier and with it extended my workout and now go twice a week. Swimming is suddenly easy, 30 lengths (0.5km) feels a doddle. My body is more toned and more supple than at any other time of my life. My mind is clear, my spirit happy contented and still. I now walk 12,000 steps (5 miles) every day come rain or shine. I aim to do 24,000 steps (10 miles) 2 to 3 times a week. It's a not up for negotiation, if I do not do my steps I will be walking around the block in the dark before I go to bed. This is my obsession now, this is what I binge on. If I look back to my childhood and teenage years I was always happiest walking the dog (cat, and duck and sometimes a chicken as well) around the fields of my parents small holding. I would do this as soon as I got home from school. And it was always where I was happiest. It's funny how we can forget what truly makes us happy and what self-care is right for us. Walking in nature is mine and it has brought many other added benefits. It makes me get out and mingle with my neighbours. I've made lots of friends around the village and many car drivers and van drivers wave at me, or stop and chat. I know the names of all the dogs, but not their owners, I've become friends with home owners who live on the routes I walk. I get invited to events and to be part of the community. And I can give back to that community too. I've made some good friends on my walks with people who genuinely make me smile and laugh. Yet they also understand some days I do not want to do small talk, and just say hello. After all this time and all those years I now know this is the most important thing for me. It's my self-care, it won't suit everyone but it does suit me. Sometimes its hard to consider going for the walk when I have lots of work on, but every time I do go for my walk, I always come back to some small breakthrough on my business. It's like the days when I take a whole day off, to go and meet a friend for lunch or have my hair cut. Every time self-care is put first I get more enquires on my businesses. If you take care of yourself, people will naturally be drawn to you and also want to support you, people will want to work with you, in whatever role you do. Spend a bit of time today thinking about your ideal self-care. You many need to go on a journey of self-discovery first to reconnect with you, but when you do. Your self-care will be come evident. Not some "self-care" fad to spend money on, but something that is right for you. Haulwen aka The Magical Mojo Coach

A social media trend or a true answer to life problems? Self-care - everywhere you go these words are spoken. Self-care is the new black, the thing to do, the latest trend to follow. Or is it? When we see so many books, and magazines, or clothing ranges, or beauty ranges all extolling the benefits of self-care you can see why some may see it as a "millennial obsession with selfishness" - yet behind all of the media and hype and all of the marketing campaigns to get you to "buy into self-care" there is an honest authentic truth. Because self-care is important and it doesn't need to cost the earth. It's easy for some people to deride a younger generation wanting to spending more time on self-care and recreation. Yet we forget a fundamental truth. Self-care was normal. It has always been normal, the problem we have is there is an older generation that naturally had self-care built into their lives, and a younger generation who has seen their parents buried in overwork and stress. For those in the middle, those who have developed through into a business world and a life where work and home overlap to an extreme, then self-care is the thing we all allowed to drop off our radars. The thing that we could let go of. When I look at my parents generation life was different. Work was generally between fixed hours 9am to 5pm and finish half day on a Friday. A regular shift pattern, but rarely at weekends. Sundays were days not to work, the pubs were closed and all you could do was rest at home, listen to the radio, read a news paper, and it was frowned upon to do work such as gardening, washing etc. In the Outer Hebrides it is still frowned upon to even put your washing out on the line on a Sunday, the shops are closed, children don't play in the playgrounds. Sunday is a sacred day still. Everyone stops. Everyone pauses from life. Even when I was a child shops were closed on a Saturday afternoon and a Sunday. My local market town it was Thursday afternoon that was also closed, but every town was different. There were no mobiles phones, or internet, or email. So when people finished work they stopped. Sundays you couldn't do anything other than be with family and go to the park or go for a walk. Even as a farmers daughter yes we worked, the cows were milked, the animals fed and cleaned out, but unless it was harvest time, Sunday was sacred. Sunday we stopped. Now we live in a 24, 7 world and people forget that in less than a decade we were beginning to see the world change from the more relaxed one where everything closed on Sundays, to the world of something on all the time. As children we were not carted around places to be entertained, we were told to get outside and entertain ourselves whilst the adults rested. Rest. That was normal, but it has changed. My parents don't understand the need for self care as they were not of this 24 7 generation, so it's understandable they don't understand the "media" preoccupation with it. The people in their teens and 20's have grown up with exhausted parents whom they have been lucky to ever see, as they would come home glued to their phones, dealing with emails, in a world of information overload. So at weekends the parents over compensated, taking the children everywhere and anywhere, when in fact the kids would probably have been happy being at home. So now they don't want to be like their parents. They really want to be more like their grandparents, but have no idea how much they really have in common in this desire for rest and down time. Something their grandparents took for granted as they knew no other way. So those of us in the middle burn out, break down, we are told self-care is selfish by a media speaking from a  generation that had rest days. So we keep going, until we crash, we burn and instead of finding ways just to stop and rest, we buy into the self-care revolution that the marketing companies are throwing down our necks. Hoping the next credit card payment fix will help us to feel like ourselves again. Working as hard as we can to ensure our children don't have to work as hard as we have, and ensuring our parents can enjoy their hard earned retirements. Yet all we need is to stop. To stop, to rest, to breathe and to see. To be in the moment and realise that self-care is just good old fashioned rest. It's the  stopping for Sunday lunch, to watch Last of The Summer Wine on a Sunday evening, belly's full, basking in the warm glow of family, friends and life. It isn't selfish, its essential. Call it by a name to suit you. Call it what it is. A time to rest, to recharge and resurface as your true self. Find a time that you make sacred for you as an individual, for you as a parent, for you as a family.  Rest, and become one with yourself again. Haulwen Nicholas The Magical Mojo Coach

've been a bit quiet here, my world a blur of opportunities and meet ups with wonderful people. I feel blessed and love the life I lead and each person I meet I see as someone who will bring something into my life. Whether it's a smile on a sad day or a lesson for me to learn. One thing I've come to realise is that people are a lot more judgemental about things in life and it saddens me. We judge people on labels "millennials" "baby boomers" "generation X" We judge people on what they wear, the way they look, their social background. We judge circumstances and don't look beyond. We really do not open our eyes to the magic and wonder in our world, the world around us and the people in our world. I remember my mom telling me a story about when I was a child and another mother saying to her that she wouldn't allow her children to play with council house kids. My mom quickly responded and pointed at the woman's children playing with me and my brother and said "well they are at the moment". You see I am a council house kid. Not your traditional council house, but a council farm. Many people don't realise that most farmers are living in rented farms - many were in the past owned by the council's but have since been sold off. As I child I was stigmatised in senior school for being a farmers daughter, it was assumed and still is that if you're a farmer you have loads of money! (the big landowners might, but most farmers don't and most these days rely on wives and children to work elsewhere to keep the small family farms alive). I was singled out in judo and had my head "kicked in" for being part of a police judo club. I'm a bit awkward, odd and different and that can make people single you out. When I was single I never had men ask me out on dates because I quote "I was classed as being out of their league" a couple of my relationships broke up quite early on because these men, who were lovely, were told by their own families and friends that I was too good for them. It's funny how judgemental we can be. Yet we close our eyes, our hearts and minds to so much magic and wonder, by not being kind and by being judgemental. It makes me sad. You see I've never really seen people in that way. My friends range from people with doctorates and phD's to factory workers, shop assistants, brick layers.  People are surprised that my background is a family from the West Midlands, West Bromwich and Dudley a family I am fiercely proud of, who if I called them tomorrow would be at my side. And a family from the Shropshire Welsh borders, mainly farmers, all had council farms and all would be here in a heart beat. My husband has worked in factories all his life and his family are steel workers and miners and now most work in factories. I love them all dearly and I can assure you they know how to have a good time. Yet no one would expect that to me my background. I have a neutral accent, people assume I'm a bit "posh" until they get to know me. I love meeting new people on my own terms and laughing and loving life with them. But then I hear words from people I love and cherish that surprises me. I'm not talking about the divisions caused by Brexit or Trump. I'm not talking about your standard forms of discrimination race, gender, sexuality etc. No, I'm talking about the judgements people make because of a persons job title. We live in a "side swipe" generation due to dating apps and I've heard anecdotes of these app's and people saying that people side swipe for the simplest of reasons. And a job title is one of them. I heard someone saying "well you wouldn't want to date someone who worked in a factory" - actually I would - I've spent 20 years working in the fast moving consumer goods industry and a good proportion of that time I was in factories in steel toe caps, white coat, hair net, no make up. And I'd date those guys in factories in a heart beat, I'd be friends with those people and I am. My husband has worked in factories all his life and is a maintenance electrical engineer - he also spends most of his time reading books on quantum theory, politics etc. Of my 4 proper boyfriends 3 have worked in factories and 1 was a farmer. I used to have a hairdressing assistant who we would discuss everything from environmental issues such as climate change, the latest literature, books on quantum theory, along with books on myth, legend, ghost etc. He is now back at University doing a degree in biochemistry. At a recent wedding I was talking with a metal work fabricator about astrology, along with 2 coaches. Why are we so quick to judge? A friend recently worked for the Royal Mail as a supervisor and put up a post asking people to offer the post men and women a drink and the use of a bathroom. And to not be abusive and shoo them on when they were getting a rest or some shade. She said people really belittle them because they see people working for the Royal Mail as a "last resort job". Working in an abattoir is my last resort job. Royal Mail is currently my back up plan should my business go tits up or a nice part time job to keep me busy in retirement as my pensions are worth nothing. I can't comprehend why anyone would be rude to these people. But it's also made me realise why my life is so blessed. Today many people made me laugh and with it that laughter brought magic and wonder into my life. The lads in my local store chatting to me about tattoo's. I've seen people talk down to them and it annoys me. My neighbour colluding with me to "steal some plants" from the derelict school (he is in his 70's). The lady with dementia (who always remembers exactly who I am) and also is in her 70's sashaying down the street saying that was how I was walking. We must have been a right sight one of us on either side of the roundabout sashaying. The DHL driver, the DPD driver, the Hermes driver all waving to me on my walks. The banter with the bin men as they clipped the young lad around the ear for trying to flirt with me as I pointed out I was old enough to be his mother. The two Royal Mail operatives taking the piss out of each other not realising anyone was about, then looking sheepish when they saw me and laughing when they realised I was crying with laughter at their antics. And then one of them later pulling faces at me and threatening to push me off the bridge I was sat on into the river. (believe me I will get my own back!) The numerous dog walkers who all joke about how they need to bring me their dogs to walk (another back up plan become a professional dog walker). And the two women and their children who got lost down the lanes and I guided them to where they needed to go. Perhaps I'm a rare breed, but I find treating everyone with respect and dignity brings so much magic and wonder into our lives. Last week I got  free cakes because me and my friend had been nice to a waitress when other restaurant visitors had clicked their fingers at her, shooed her away or came onto her. (and the guy was old enough to be her grandad). A new friend who I've only met 3 times invited me on holiday with her and to stay at her home whenever I want. I get discounts and freebies. I get introductions and help and support. I make new friends and I let go of friends and with all of this life my life is full of magic and wonder. My life is truly blessed. So next time you wonder why your life is not how you want it to be. Look at how you treat yourself, look at how you treat others. Reflect, review, rewind and renew your life. Stop judging people by the cover that they may have. Open your heart and mind. The person you may need in your life right now, might not be the one you expected it to be. Bright Blessings Haulwen The Magical Mojo Coach

Who were your role models when you were growing up? Pop stars? A teacher? a relative? a Sibling? Do you remember? Did you have one? What about who are your role models now? Is there anyone you relate to? Is there anyone who fills you with inspiration? Often we look outside of ourselves to find something we think we want to be, yet often enough the role model we are really looking for is right in front of us facing us in the mirror. Yet we do sometimes need a measure, or some form of validation that that's what our goal is and with it I wonder if you've ever considered yourself to be a role model for others? With the fast paced world we live in today I think those of us who are older need even more to be true to our selves, to show those who are growing up in the social media bubble that you can be authentic and true, that you can be you. How are our young women in particular, but also men, supposed to know how to be true when even we in our middle years and older, don't have confidence to drop the mask and be our authentic selves? I often talk about reconnecting with our inner wise woman (or man), the true self, but it can be truly scary to embrace that truth within you, but to then shine really really bright so that you can be a beacon for others can be terrifying. Yet for them, it could be the light at the end of the tunnel they have truly been looking for. What if by you shining bright you could become that beacon, what if each of us could become a beacon for others, even if we also have one eye on our beacon of light, the one we see as our role model. As I go through life and as I embrace my true self I want to be that beacon for others. I want to show young women in particular that you can be true to you and you can love life. I love seeing people who are contented and happy, there are a couple of people I see regular who are in their early to mid 30's who are the most happy contented people I have met. They shine so bright without knowing it and with it have an amazing impact on the people around them. I've met some amazing women in the last few months and chatted at length with them and each time I have one of those conversations it reminds me why I shouldn't dim my light for anyone, and that being true to me means I can actually be a role model for others. Will you step up to the challenge? I sat with my fairy god-daughter this week as she showed me the books she is reading and told me her passion to be a beautician and an author. She was wanting to choose one over another and I said "do both". Now she is 12 I'm no longer talking to a child but a young woman in the making and I hope being the quirky, silver streaked hair, Dr Marten boot wearing, Landrover Defender driver woman that I am that it will show her being different is OK. But I'm also conscious she's about to hit the "horror years for young women" and I hope she doesn't loose herself. We all can get lost with the societal expectations and this is where we need to find ourselves. We cannot help others if we are not helping ourselves first and I know that for me self-care being my number one is what has turned my life around. As I embrace my inner wise woman and listen to her gentle voice each day, I am true to me and with that true to the people around me. So each day, pause and listen to your own role model, you, your inner wise woman. Shine so bright that you blind those you don't wish to be seen by and those who wish to see you will just put on their sun glasses. Be a lighthouse for others and follow your own light to your dreams. Bright Blessings Haulwen

It's 2 years today 2nd June 2019, since I left my corporate world job. I want to share with you my own journey and growth. I am a completely different person than I was. I am not where I thought I'd be then. I am not who I thought I'd be. Every part of my being is different. My mind is completely different - calmer, happier, gentler, more loving, sexier, wiser, positive, optimistic, hopeful, thankful, grateful. My body is completely different - thinner, curvier, sexier, toned, supple, strong, healthy, fit, calm, nurtured, energised, vibrant. My soul is reconnected - I am a witch, I am a sage, I am a mentor, I am a coach, I am a wise woman, I embrace my passions, I embrace my spirit, I love and cherish my quirkiness and awkwardness. I love myself unconditionally. I now know it's OK to put me first. I have a whole journey ahead of me and I will continue to learn and grow everyday until I am no longer in my physical form and pass onto wherever it is our cells and molecules, our essence goes to. I now know who I am, I will discover more about me over time and I will live and love every moment. This my new business year, is about saying yes to the opportunities I want in my life and knowing I can say NO to what I do not want. My journey has been a rollercoaster ride and it has taken pain and perseverance to get to today. It has not been easy. I had no idea it would take me 18 months to finally get the message that self-care had to always be number one on my to do list. Now it is, I feel connected with every part of me. I had no idea it would take me 18-months to embrace my femininity, my true self, my wise woman, my witch, to be who I am. I had no idea that my business success would be totally related to my self-care success. I had no idea how to proceed on this journey and how to stop listening to all the "advice" that I was given and just be true to me. In hindsight I should have taken 6 months off and switched off from everything I had done before. My job, my career, my working world, many of my friends and my family and to focus on me. But fear drove me to cling on to all of that like a safety blanket that was ready to disintegrate. Yet now I can see clearly that my truth was always clambering for attention - my inner wise woman was screaming to be heard and she would lash out at me with illness, depression, anxiety, self doubt - desperately trying to be heard. I hear her now. I now know I have much to let go of. Anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt I have done away with and will continue to work on to release me and allow me to spread my wings. I let go of limiting beliefs that have crushed me for so long. And now I am letting go of stuff. The clothes I wore to be me, but are no longer me. The books, the hobbies, the stuff. Cluttering up my home and with it my heart, my soul, my body and mind. All becoming stagnant, frozen in fear. Of what others will think, of guilt for the past, for anger at past mistakes and injustices. But now I am grown. I am a wiser woman than I have ever been, and although I still have much work to do I can see my future and I stop craving for it and live in the present, live in the moment. Taking each small step and looking for ways the path can take me on further adventures to explore new worlds and new opportunities for magic, wonder and learning. I've used Myers Briggs, NLP, Time line TherapyTM, hypnotherapy to help me. I've read and self taught, I've embraced the Psychologies Life Leap Group as my family. I have seen every set back and stopped and listened. Why this? Why now? What do I need to learn? From the sprained ankle and torn achilles tendon within 2 months of my leaving my job, to the ME/CFS flair ups, the self-doubt, the fear and anxiety over money, the fear and anxiety over what people would think. The fear of embracing my truth. To the health scare with my husband, to the doubts about our future, to the vertigo that floored me and really made me think about the dizziness I was causing myself with my never ending thoughts. I won a top award for the packaging industry and felt a fraud, I became an Ambassador for Psychologies magazine and felt my wings unfurl. I made new friends, I let go of old ones. I embraced a new way of being, and found the exercise and foods I love. I've returned to my roots, to my core and found my true elements - air, water. I know to root in Each, to connect with my spirit and to balance my fire. I feel happier, younger, healthier and more passionate than any other moment in my life. And on those grey dark days where I felt like I could do no more than get out of bed. I dreamed. I dreamed and my dreams have come true because I already had them, I just didn't know it. I dreamed of living in a place in the countryside (I live on an edge of a village in the countryside, with a 2 minute walk into open country). I dream of big skies (they are a 5 minute walk away), I dream of being in sunshine and nature (I walk every day), I dream of being near water (a beautiful river and stream, only a 20 minute walk from my home), I dream of being able to swim and exercise when I want (my gym is a 7 minute drive away with a pool, equipment and I can walk daily), I dream of working for myself (I do), I dream of being financially free (I am, in the fact I have managed on 1/7 of my original salary and don't feel like I have missed out). I dream of being true to me. I am. When I set out on this journey I was lost and even then I felt I knew that others needed a guide, a mentor, a sage, a wise woman to guide them on their journeys. As part of this journey I realised that is always what I have been, a person who is there for others in their time of need and then I move on to the next person who needs my support. Now I do this professionally, with my one to one coaching and via my Mojo Academy. Every time I get some feedback from one of my wise women I do a little happy dance. Whether its the next step they have made, the fact the postcard I sent had the right message for them for that moment in their lives. Those messages mean so much to me and fill me up with light. And now that I believe in me and I know my power, I shine brightly. Not bright as I did before, where anyone could easily dim my light by standing over me. But so bright that I blind the naysayers and guide the lost ships to port. I will still have large waves to ride and storms to navigate over the coming days, weeks, months and years. But I know I can do this. I know I am strong. I know I am bright. Now I shine for me, and the people who need guidance. Now I look for you, the person I connect with deeply where we can discuss fairies and vampires. Now I am me. I know my name, I know my truth. I am Sunshine. Bright Blessings to a beautiful summer. Haulwen xx

Once upon a time there was a woman who longed to be true to herself, to reconnect, to love, to live, to have fun. She dreamed of a life different to the one she had now, she dreamed of flying high in the sky, of dancing in the moonlight, of catching stars in her eyes and rainbows in her hair. She loved, she dreamed and she became whole and life loved and dreamed and became whole with her. And with it everything, everyone and every moment all came together to be a moment of eternal bliss so that they all could live happily ever after. The End... or is it. How many of you have started your journey? You know the one where you can find that something that is missing, the ache in your soul, the ache in your heart. How many have given up on the journey and how many of you are paralysed with fear. Because the journey of recognition is not an easy one, its a roller coaster of emotions and feelings, some you may have never ever come across before and it can be incredibly lonely. Painfully lonely... Because as much as we would love it to be a fairytale, life isn't. When we grow, when we reconnect with our truth, with our authentic selves, with our inner wise woman, we think everyone will be happy for us, they will support it and they will grow with us. The hard reality is that often people are scared when you grow, they can become jealous, they may not support you or may not support you in the way you think you need and some people do not want to grow. Some of you inspired me to write this blog because it is a part of the journey that is rarely discussed. How we become disconnected from the people, the world and the life we have led. How we can feel like we are the outsiders looking in. No one talks about how when we change its rare the people around us change too and this can hurt like crazy! You may now be feeling more confident, more alive and yet they are not. You want to live, to love life and have fun and they just don't get why you "can't be like you were before". As we reconnect with our inner voice and we listen to her, we listen to her needs and desires and to our true values and beliefs it is easy to see how we need to let go of things. We can see how we may need to let go of career choices and make a plan to do so. We can see how we can let go of those energy vampires who drain us. But what do we do when it feels like everything we have loved and liked in our life to date no longer fits with who we are. Our hearts can ache, we feel bad parents, bad lovers, bad wives/husbands, bad partners, bad friends, bad children. How can it be that now you are true to you that you are bad at everything else? How can the world keep turning and look the same, yet you feel free! But now you resent it, you feel trapped like a butterfly in a bell jar fooled into thinking you have the freedom to expand your wings and fly, only to find that clear walls are in your way. You bang against the glass longing, longing for something that you cannot find, something out of reach and you look back at the people and world around you and scream out loud "grow with me, come and join me on my journey, fly high, shine bright". But no one hears, they carry on with life in their own little bubbles, you peer in and press against it gently to try to reconnect again, but pull a way for fear of bursting their world and becoming trapped within it. So what do you do? Run, run away from it all, keep running until you find that person that thing that place where you can be true. Or stop. You may need to cry and grieve for the life you once had, you may need to cry and grieve for the life you feel you have wasted, you may need to cry and grieve for the people and things you must say goodbye too. But most of all you must allow yourself time to grieve for these things. You are making massive changes. Tremendous changes and you have to give yourself time. To grieve, to heal and to pause. Some of you will have people in your lives who are too important to let go of and who you'd never let go of. But now it is time for you to be patient. Their path is different to yours and you may veer off in different directions. You have your path and they have theirs and if you are meant to be, then all you can do is hope that in the days and months their path veers back towards you. It can be painful to watch people you love become distant from you and in some cases over time you may mutually agree its time to part ways or in other cases as you grow, as you shine bright they may lift their heads and look towards your guiding light and love what they see. Initially they may be scared, slightly blinded by this new being emerging in front of them, but if they truly love you they will find it in themselves to go on their own quest, to grow and to catch up with you, because they want to be part of your journey, they want to bask in your light and they will fall deeply in love with you all over again. You have to know when the moments of fear hit you and you worry about feeling disconnected from your current world of things, stuff, doing and people, that it is OK. Practice self-care. Connect with your true self. Pause and listen to your voice. Know that if things or people or jobs or homes are supposed to be in your life in the future they will be. But do remember to let go with grace, to let go without prejudice or fear, those who are not ready, just yet. Perhaps you and those people and things will come back to you, or perhaps they will fly off on their own path. But know all you can do is be true to you. Your inner wise woman (or man) is crying to be heard - listen, love, cry when you need to, but know although now is painful, it will get better. Bright Blessings Haulwen The Magical Mojo Coach Join my free group the Mojo Coaching Club here​​

"My darling girl, when are you going to realise that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage." - Aunt Frances from Practical Magic when Sally Owens says "all I want is a normal life" How many of you think this? How many of you think, I actually don't want to be normal but then find yourself inadvertently conforming due to your people pleasing nature? And what actually is normal? According to the Oxford living dictionary normal means "Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected." How many of us have done what is typical for someone with our particular background, or what is expected of us, or what people usually do. We go through the motions of life and don't even realise how we are "conforming" to things that we don't naturally want to agree with. But it's what we do. I've been prone to this, even though I've never felt like anyone around me, and felt as though I have always been the outsider looking in. Would I say I was normal? When I compare myself to women of my age in my area I am not the same as them and they are not the same as each other. And I like that I am quite different to them, however I also know that I have grown up to be a people pleaser and have done what I thought was "expected of me" rather than following my dreams. It's funny how we fall in to our own traps. I strive to not be "normal" and my home, my clothing, my look etc aren't. However I have generally done what is expected of me. Be a good girl, keep quiet, look after your parents, be helpful, follow the money career path, etc, etc. Then there are the people who I know strive for normal - they watch the same TV shows as everyone else in their office to "fit in". They dress like everyone else to "fit in". They don't raise their head above the parapet. Yet they are sometimes the ones not doing what is expected of them, but what they want to do. We can never judge a book by its cover and can never judge a person by their exterior features. When I was having my tattoo done, it really made me think about how we can judge people on what is deemed normal and what isn't. I've worked in many companies where tattoo's are frowned upon, even recently, and have seen the prejudice when someone walks in with tattoo's and piercings. Everyone has a different perspective - for me it would peak my interest. They'd applied for a job working in the food industry, in companies known for being the "grey suit brigade", and turned up for an interview with tattoo's on show and piercings. I employed a number of these people over the years and they've gone on to do great thing. Yet I saw HR departments and other managers dismiss them as reckless and "not the sort of person we want here, as they weren't normal" I have 3 tattoo's and its interesting that this is one area I did what was "expected" of me. I have a tattoo on my hip (gemini symbol) a moon on my shoulder. But I knew to go further than this and have anything more visible would hinder my career prospects. So even though I wanted more, not for anyone just for me, I held back. Now, 2 years since I left the corporate world, I am I still letting go of some of these "expectations", but I can also see how I went to extremes to get away from the "expected norms" as well. I'm currently selling lots of clothes and shoes on eBay - and now I can see how I hid my own insecurities and my own frustrations on not being true to me by buying really quirky clothing. My wardrobe was full of quirky fun dresses for work, but the sort I could get away with and I still love, but also big skirts and dresses that I'd wear at weekends. I looked like a character from a fairytale book. And it was my way of sticking 2 fingers up to the world for the "norm" I was behaving, but also a way to hide myself. I know lots of people with lots of tattoo's and piercings who have really low self esteem. The art is a way to hide themselves from the world around them. It might sound weird, but many a goth, cos player etc can use these outfits as their own mask, to hide their true self. People focus on what a person is wearing, how they have their hair, the tattoo's on their arms, their legs, the piercings through their nose, their chin and they make judgements. They don't look deeper, the don't look within. What if we could focus on people being true to themselves, rather than the "norm". What if we could look beyond the exterior of clothing, decoration, skin colour, gender, race and realise we are all heart and all soul. All lovers, dreamers, thinkers, feeling sort, all full of our own unique magic and wonder. It's taken me 2 years since leaving the corporate world to get to where I am now. I'm selling the clothes I hid behind, clothes I thought were me, but were yet another mask. I'm no longer ashamed to show my body, to wear a dress that fits me and show my arms, my legs, my figure. That is who I am. I am no longer worried about having visible tattoo's and who knew that tattoo's could still be so taboo when so many people now have them. I know now that me being true to me, can also allow me to help others to be true to them. We look for mirrors to look in, within other people. We look for a connection and as I've mentioned before a tribe to be part of. It's hard to drop what is expected of us - to be married with 2.2 kids living in suburbia by a certain age. And society can be cruel to those who choose or do not choose to fit the "norms". The news media being some of the worst offenders for making us feel like we "aren't doing what we should". I find the world a strange place - I'm brave for embracing my greys (we shouldn't do that), I'm brave for quitting my job and running my own business, I'm brave because I don't wear lots of make up, I'm brave because I've sold my heels and only wear Dr Martens, I'm brave for driving a landrover! - None of these are brave things, they are just me, and are only seen by some as brave because they are not "the thing a 44 year old woman should be doing". For me being brave is dealing with true life trauma's and believe me I've done my share of them. Yet I'm never called brave for these acts. No then I am the "good girl" I am often described by people as the 'nice young lady or nice young woman" - always polite, always helpful, always kind. It's nice, but I know those same people who accept my quirky hair, my quirky vehicle, my Dr Martens, will slight frown at that tattoo. Because although I can be a little quirky, there is a line to be drawn. I will not be doing what is expected of me going forward. I will continue my journey of reconnecting with my inner wise woman and making her my outer true self until the day I die. I will be true to my values and beliefs and do you know what, I will still do things "expected of me" but I will strive to make them part of what I want. If you could do one thing away from normal, away from what is expected of you. What would that be? Haulwen The Magical Mojo Coach Join the Mojo Coaching Club my free Facebook group HERE