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May and June were interesting months for me. The 12 month anniversary of setting up my business, so lots to do for my end of year accounts, and also June's my birthday month and always the month of my main holiday of the year. I had so much planned for all my businesses, my blogs etc. But I was struck down with technology failures. No phone line and intermittent broadband for over a month. This also means no mobile phone for me as I live in a place with poor phone reception unless I connect to my internet to make Wifi calls. In the end, I thought "fine, I'll catch up on holiday there's a phone and a broadband connection in my cottage". Even though I was a 2.5hr drive from home I had exactly the same issue, phoneline dead and intermittent broadband connection. Sometimes in life, you have to stop and recognise when the universe or whatever it is, is sending you a message. The message being sent to me loud and clear was to STOP. Get off my computer and give myself a break. I spent my holiday chilling, walking and reading. There were no waves for bodyboarding, I did go for a swim, though most days it was too hot even to swim and walks were at 9 pm at night. It felt like everything was telling me to rest. And I did. This rest gave me time to really reflect on the last 12 months of my business. It made me really think about what my plans are for the next 12 months, and I realised this had given me a sense of clarity I hadn't felt before. When I left my job over a year ago, I didn't really know what I was going to do and the last 12 months have been a journey of self-discovery, self-development and self-care. There were lots of bumps on the way. Highs and lows, but all have got me to this place and I can now see my future very clearly. When people make life leaps there is an expectation that everyone knows exactly what they're going to do, and some people might, but being too rigid in your thoughts can mean you miss out on amazing opportunities to grow and develop. If' I'd been to rigid I'd have never become a Psychologies Ambassador. I've learnt a lot of lesson, of what works and what doesn't, what work I like and what I don't, I've learnt lots of new amazing skills and with it I've gained a calmness of mind, body and spirit that I've never encountered before. I focused on reading books on how to ditch limiting beliefs around money and my return from holiday, instead of jumping back into my businesses and doing what I'd done before I spent 1 whole week dedicated to money. I have developed a range of trackers so now I know my Net Worth (I'm shocked it's a positive number!), I'm tracking my spending, looking at trends. This month was going to be the "tough" month, I've had moments of panic about how I'll pay the bills, those ones where you feel physically sick, but now I know how to stop. Step away, look at the bigger picture. I'm giving money the respect it deserves instead of running away from it and burying my head in the sand and I feel empowered. I know how much my pensions are worth, I know exactly how much my credit card bills and loans are and instead of being scared to look at my bank account, I see it as a daily task and I now give gratitude for Blessings already received. On thursday I deduced it was going to be a day of money miracles. I checked all my documents with my accountants, and have discovered I have double the tax rebate I was expecting. It's such a nice big fat sum, I can live off it for about 5-6 months. Result! So this means I can focus on gaining clients I really want on the packaging side of my business and launching my Mojo Academy. I'm sure many of you will relate to how you can make poor decisions when carrying a financial burden. And its also highlighted to me how many people have issues around money, so i'm going to be adding this into my Mojo Academy agenda, as this is where people can really get stuck. I've not only taken care of my finances and developed systems and paperwork to make it easy to review, but also done the same for the main elements of my businesses. I have a 12 month plan for my free Mojo Coaching Club and know how I'm going to engage with my members and my subscribers to give them real help and value. I'm clear on my business it currently has 4 streams -1) packaging advice, consultancy and training, 2)coaching 3) writing & storytelling 4) selling my photography, printable's and where I'm an affiliate. I know in the future I'll run my own lavender farm where I'll run retreats, and I'll have my own holiday lets. I now feel like I'm a proper business with goals and targets for the future. At the time the lack of broadband and phone seemed like a curse, but its given me the space to breathe and look to the future, taking an eagles view of the world so I can move in the right direction. So don't expect when you make a life leap to know exactly what it is you want from life. Stop, pause, listen and look for the signs, feel the instinct in your gut and go with it. You may travel down some overgrown paths, but in the end you will get to your destination, even if you're not sure on what it looks like. Enjoy your journey.

Some of you may have seen my #30day wild posts and the magical mystery tour I went on for my birthday. I know some people may think it strange that I spent my birthday on my own, but for me it wasn't. I was in Wendy, my Landrover Defender (technically my husbands, but he uses my car for work so I use Wendy). I know, not the most Eco-friendly vehicle, but for where I like to travel the lanes aren't really passable in any other vehicle, I do so few miles now and she is easy to fix. We do plan on converting her to electric once we've figured out how to do it. Cars for me are freedom. They are where I can go and get peace and quiet, and not have to interact with other people. I find I get my best ideas and sort out my thoughts when I drive. Its also where I feel safe. I can sing at the top of my voice to my music, I can listen to an audio book, I can have peace and quiet. My cars are my escape. Cars are really important to me. My husband understands this and knows my passion on my birthday he passed a vintage VW Beetle and so wanted to buy it me as my birthday present, alas we don't have the finances just yet. Growing up on a farm in rural Shropshire I had to rely on my parents to take me everywhere, which ultimatley means my parents also, unwittingly, dictated what I did, who I saw and where I went. Hence, I had no boyfriends in senior school. Fortunately, there was a pub within walking distance of the farm, so from age 14 to 18 I worked in this pub. Otherwise, I would not have been able to get a job. My nearest bus stop was 2 - 3 miles away, along a very busy road, with no footpaths and lots of heavy good vehicles. Also, walking and cycling on my own virtually came to a halt when I was 14. A friend in my school went missing, and was later found murdered. Quite rightly, my parents became very protective, but of course for a teenage girl I felt trapped. But it wasn't a safe world. I remember 1 day walking from the farm to the pub. It was the first time my parents didn't watch me from the end of the driveway, or the owners of the pub didn't watch from the car-park. A car came around the corner full of men, probably in their 20's. It slammed on its brakes as it saw me and it crawled past me, all these men staring at me. I felt uncomfortable, they drove past and then I heard the squealing of tyres. Looking round they were doing a hand brake turn further down the road, and were now driving at full speed towards me. I have never run so fast in my life just writing this I can feel the terror and fear. The front of the pub wasn't open, so I had to race up to the back entrance and dived in through the back gate as the car came speeding up the car-park towards me. My parents reported it to the police, but many people dismissed me as making a drama, that it was probably a prank. I remember talking to a counsellor about this a few years ago, she asked "what did you sense they were going to do, how were they looking at you?" I replied "like a piece of meat, I think they'd have abducted me and raped me..." I remember her words "trust your instincts, never let anyone dismiss them, you have them for a reason and you were probably right". yet as women often we're told to dismiss these instincts. I advise you don't. So there I was probably about 14/15 and my freedom halted yet again. As soon as I hit 17, I got my provisional license and started taking driving lessons. My mom could drive then and always insisted that her children learn to drive in all conditions, so it was over a year before I took my driving test. On the day I got my A-level results, I failed them all, 3 U's, I also failed my driving test. It felt like the end of the world for me. I remember friends telling me it wasn't a big deal, but they lived in villages, they could get buses to places. Shortly afterwards I became ill with Glandular Fever, my hopes of University dashed (I'd still got a place even though I'd failed my A-levels) and no hope of getting a job away from home. After a few months I was recovered enough and re-sat my driving test, passing was the golden ticket to freedom. After that my cars became my home, my identity and my escape. All my cars have had names Jeanie, Half pint, Minx, Romeo, Gypsy, Gug, Minx 2, Silver, Vov or violet, Red Velvet, Wendy and Silver (Silver was sold to my dad and has now come back to us, which is why she's on the list twice). Every one of them has seen me cry, seen me laugh, been part of my special moments - my wedding, amazing holidays and the magical mystery tours I've been on so many times. As soon as I had by first car, I would just get in her and drive and see where I went. Sometimes in the early hours of the morning, sometimes out for the day. I would often do a full tour of Mid Wales and around North Wales in a day. And even now when I go on magical mystery tours, I'm never really somewhere I don't know, and never lost as I know this area so well. As I progressed in my career, went back to University and then followed my new career path in packaging, I got company cars. I had a couple of jobs where I had to drive to factories in the UK. For an introvert these jobs were bliss. I'd spend 7 hours driving and 1-2 hours interacting with people and it was always wonderful when you got there and they had to cancel so you'd got to drive 3.5hrs back home. And I was always in a no mobile phone signal zone when anyone phone!  Ok, I didn't like answering the phone whilst driving but was expected to (you have a hands free kit) but I never liked talking and driving its too dangerous even on hands free. My last couple of jobs I didn't have the same freedom to be out and about, and there was a need for me to spend more time in London or overseas so using public transport was a necessity. I do not like travelling by train, plane or bus. Being in a confined space with other people I find draining, I always feel a little travel sick and I don't feel safe. However, it's a necessity I put up with for the times I need to do it. I now still love a good long drive, like going up to Largs for the Mindfulness retreat with Catherine Brannan. Or just going on a magical mystery tour like on my birthday. I can honestly say I've owned most of my dream cars - Nova 1.5 TD, various Golf GT diesels, various Audi A3 S-lines, an MGB GT and my lovely Wendy a Landrover Defender. I was a bit of a girl racer most of my cars red, with alloy wheels and blacked out windows. But now I have Wendy. We can explore roads that most cars can't go down and the height gives me a new perspective on places I've visited in the past. So when I'm down, or feeling stuck I just hop in and we go off and see where we end up. I see things that most people never see and go to places others cannot. Driving is my own private therapy, my cheap entertainment and my Landrover is a shared passion that my husband and I enjoy together. I no longer crave the speed and the  flash cars. I love driving Wendy, it's a slower pace of life that I adore. Everyone is nicer to me, they let me out at junctions, theres a Landrover thing where other proper Landrover drivers all wave at each other and that feeling of being part of a tribe is lovely. Also, it seems to make lots of people smile when they see this 5ft 4in magpie haired woman in her DM's and flower dresses hopping out of such a "beast of a vehicle". Wendy gives me a new freedom to explore in a different way and to be me. She's my best friend, my solace, my quiet place for reflection, where I go to have fun. She may be a car (though technically a van), but like all my cars, they listen really well and never judge me. If you want to try a magical mystery tour it's really quite simple. I leave the house and then look for signs. Not road signs but signs in nature - a buzzard flying overhead going to the left, take the next left. A slow vehicle in front take the next turning left or right. Keep going until you find what you didn't know you were looking for. PS you can do this on foot and on public transport too.

Today 7th June is my birthday. This will be an unusual birthday as for the first time in, I don't know how long I will be on my own. My husband is in work and has used all his holidays and my best friends all live far away. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I may visit my parents and then go for a drive. I may read a book. Or I may work on my business. I do know that I am in the happiest place I have ever been. I'm busy, I'm working longer hours than I did in employment but in the start up stages that is what you do. Yet its doesn't feel like work. I'm not where I thought I'd be, though this time last year having left my well paid corporate role, I really didn't have any idea what I'd do. It's certainly been a year of self-discovery, self-development and self-care for me, which is the purpose of the Mojo Academy I'm launching in July. I've learnt so much about myself and my preference for introversion, about embracing my empathic nature and seeing it for the gift that it is. Being on my own most of the time is bliss for me. I can now easily manage on 6-8 hours sleep. Until now I'd have said I couldn't exist on less than 12 -16 hrs, but that is because I have been doing jobs in extroverted areas since I was 14. Waitress, bank clerk, various temping roles in offices, shop assistant, working on the door in a night club, then various roles where I was a manager in packaging. All, requiring me to be with people all the time with no time for myself. Now I want to help coach as many women as possible to recognise who they are and to embrace their true self, to find their comfort zone, so they know where to go to recharge and then from there to learn how to expand it. This fills me with so much excitement the thought of being able to help so many others on their own journey. As well as learning about myself I've learnt a lot about setting up my own business. This time last year I was ready to turn my back on my 18 year packaging career, but now I've just launched a course on Packaging and getting fab feedback. I'm in discussions with 2 major brands who are renown for their ethical stance and hope to be giving them support and advice, not just on packaging but on the environment in general. My degree in Environmental Biology is shining through again. I never would have guessed this would be my path. I'd also wanted to focus on my writing, I've written some children's books and need to edit them and get them perfect for sending to agents. Ironically I've written less on these in the last 12 months than I did when I was employed. But I'm writing more. I now write an average of 10,000 to 20,000 words a week (according to my Grammarly subscription). I blog here and guest blog on other pages. I write about packaging and writing my packaging course. I write blogs for Psychologies Magazine and have to pinch myself every so often as can't believe I'm actually doing this for my favourite magazine. I've part written a proposal for a self-help book and aim to get this finished so I can send out to agents. I'm looking at my Packaging course being my passive income so I can then get back into my children's writing and doing this alongside my Mojo Academy. So I can say I am a writer. I'm now a bit of a whizz on website building having built about 10 in the last 12 months for me and things I've been involved in. I'm an NLP Coach, a hypnotherapy practitioner and a Time Line Therapy Practitioner. Last year I'd never heard of the latter and I was skeptical about hypnotherapy! I can go for walks when I like, i can sit in the garden and have my lunch, I can work when I like (its currently 00.42hrs, but I like working at night). I can see where my packaging business will take me and where my coaching will go. I can see those books being finished and being published. And although in 2017/2018 I earned in 1 year the same as I'd have earned in 1 month in my previous job, I've found I value money more. I understand my limiting beliefs around money and now I know I deserve to be paid and deserve to earn a living and feel good about it. (I'll be doing a bit on this in the Mojo Academy later in the year). I've made so many new connections, new relationships and new friends. I can now be true to myself and that is something I wish for everyone. So for me 2018/2019 is going to be a year of success, a year of happiness, a year of continued self-discovery, self-development and most importantly self-care. I've truly found my mojo, my passion and my bliss. I know you want to do the same, now or in the near future and by being part of the mojo community you'll continue to grow too. Have a fabulous week.

I have so many thing to write about and I was a little unsure what it should be this week, but thanks to Heather Duggan & Clare Cremona for inspiring me. I have a confession, you know those days that lots of people like where it's scorching hot, there is no wind. I really don't like them. I like the wind. When it is perfectly still it doesn't feel right to me, my energy levels drop and I feel sluggish, I need a breeze, I need the air flowing around me. I love the rain, the movement of it, the way it feels on my skin, they way it nourishes the earth and allows those of us lucky enough to live in the UK to marvel at the greenery. Do you know that the UK is part of the rainforest of the southern hemisphere. I used to travel for work a lot and spent quite a bit of time in Southern Germany in the summer, I hated it. No wind, no rain, no movement. The heat was unbearable.I'd get grouchy, feel sick, feel run down. This may be why I crave to live near the sea as then the chance of having no wind at all is slight. When I stand in the wind I feel like its power is filling me with energy. I love walking in the rain and it never puts me off going for a walk. I love the seasons and cold winters with snow and frost and ice. It is bliss. But I also don't like extremes. Extremes of temperature as Heather mentioned in her blog, are not good for me. Cold brings on aches and pains linked to the CFS/M.E. I was diagnosed with. When its hot (anything above 22 degrees C) I feel uncomfortable and sweat profusely, can never get comfortable, my glands swell up and I feel "bleurgh". I've been like this all my life and have only been to one hot country in their summer - Malta in June - as someone who finds it impossible to lie on a lounger doing nothing I really didn't enjoy it until we got to the evenings, then it was bliss. The current fabulous weather we've had in the UK has been lovely, but there have been some days where it was so hot and humid, I felt like the world had weighed me down and I couldn't do anything. Fortunately the wind is back and with it my lightness and my desire to do things. Having these sensitivities to the environment around us is quite common in sensitive people, we have to recognise them and devise our own ways to work around them, but the first thing to do is notice. Keep a diary of how you feel and what is happening with the weather. Although I love the rain, on dull grey days with no movement I think all of us can feel down. Hence my home is full of fairy lights and lamps so it always has a brightness about it on dull days. If you are a sensitive soul you'll notice how every slight change in the weather can impact you. But in some ways this is where we are more tuned in, and more linked to how we would have been, when we were living as wild animals. Watch any animal, bird, fish, insect or plant and they all react to the weather and their natural environment. As we have evolved as human beings we have lost this sensitivity, which in the past would have determined whether we lived or died. So use the #30dayswild to reconnect with the wild world around you, with the weather. What can you see? Notice the different shades of green? What can you hear? Listen to the call of the birds? Today I all I could hear was the chirping of fledgling blue tits and I watched them fly/falling through the trees. I have a couple of song thrushes who are competing for the best song. Feel the sun on your skin? How does it make you feel? What does rain feel like on your naked skin? Does it make you shiver? Is it pleasant or isn't it? When you feel the wind, feel its energy and power. Notice the different smell of the air when the weather changes. The ozone smell when a storm is brewing. The smell of rain on hot ground "petrichor". Get in tune with the environment around you and notice what it does to your mood, use it to uplift you when down, recognise when stagnant air is making you feel stagnant and do something to move that energy - a shower, a walk, a dance to some fun music. Get in tune with the world and the world will tune in with you.

When you experience love or joy in your life how does it make you feel? Next time you experience a strong positive emotion notice the impact on your body - on your breathing, your heart rate. Feel your muscles - are they relaxed or are they tense? Really connect that feeling to your body, to your mind and to your soul. Be in the here and now and appreciate the amazing things happening to you. OK - so now recall a more negative experience. An argument, doing something you didn't want to, some form of conflict, a road rage incident anything at all. Remember what happened to you physically, mentally and spiritually. Whether you are an empath or not you will experience differences in your mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing for both positive and negative events in your life. Yet we often do not correlate those things happening to us, to the emotions we have been feeling. During my life a number of things have happened on a reoccurring basis; Losing my voice - the amount of times I've lost my voice when I feel people won't listen to me or I can't be heard. if not completely it goes croaky and weak. Now I know I need to make my voice heard in other ways, as an introvert I prefer the written word to talking things through, I often stutter or can't get the words out or articulate what I want to say when my emotions are strong. My neck locks up - this has happened to me every year since I was about 18 - I've blamed it on 2 whiplash injuries I had in my late teens and although it's a factor that this is a weak point in my body, my emotions are often at play here. In the last 12 months, now I work for myself, I've had no problems with my neck. But in the past every time it happened it was when I was doing something or working with someone that I thought was "a pain in the neck". Often there are environmental, physical and medical factors, but be aware of your sub conscious mind, it has a lot of control and will take your words and emotions literally. For me I can absorb those emotions from others and they become physical symptoms in me, if I don't protect myself.  And whether you're a full blown empath or have an empathetic nature we have to be so careful that someone else's "crisis" doesn't become ours. We need to ensure that when someone is having an intense emotion near us that we recognise what is our emotion and what is theirs. For years "amorous advances" have been a problem for me - I'd assumed that every woman had experienced what I had, but now I realise my empathic nature meant I was giving the lustful signals men and women were giving out to me back to them. Not intentionally, I didn't even know I was doing it but it meant that most jobs I've had I've been sexually assaulted and or had inappropriate sexual advances. I'd hear rumours of people saying "so and so thinks you've got the hots for them" and I didn't even know who "so and so" was. I swear I'll write a fictional book on it one day as no one would believe the stories were real. Then there are the "How are you" moments, where I ask a simple polite, typically British question and then have someone blurting out there woes to me for 10 minutes (whilst in my head I'm going I didn't really mean it I was just asking like everyone else). I can understand how women who were empath's in the past were burned as witches. I've seen the fear on a person's face as they stop talking and look at you like you've hexed them. On occasions I've been able to offer support to the person but on many they've turned on me, I think worried I'd tell the world their woe's. It's often worse when it's a senior manager who's trying to be an alpha male and they've just told me they hate their job and their life. When I did my NLP training I didn't need to learn how to get into rapport but how to break it. So I have to remember to protect myself, how to break rapport to get out of situations, I thought I'd be seen as being rude but if done in the right way it isn't. I've tried lots of ideas for protecting myself - surrounding myself in white light, a bubble, carrying crystals with me for protection - hematite is very good for this, but be warned it is a metal so remove it from your pockets or in my case my bra, when going through airport security. I set off a scanner once and they did the handheld metal detector across my body and it made that big "whurrpping" noise right in the middle of my boobs! Fortunately when I went to the room to remove them and said lucky stones to the female Swiss security guard she just shrugged her shoulders and waved me on! Needless to say no crystals in my bra anymore! So its taken years, but it was a doctor friend who said to me, why not use a Patronus charm. You'll only know the patronus charm if you're a Harry Potter Fan and mine is more a cross between a Patronus and a daemon from Northern Lights. Mine is a hare that changes colour and causes mayhem when I'm in seminars I find boring (I imagine that they are knocking over glasses and anything I see falling over). When in company of energy vampires, I imagine them as dementors (again from Harry Potter), these people are usually sucking the life out of me, and I put up a bright white light (I even have a ring with a Hare on it with the inscription "Expecto Patronum".) I can still get caught out, like I was this week, where I experienced a conflict that I wasn't expecting, but I find having some form of protection really helps me. So connect with your emotions and look how they impact you on a daily basis. Look at what is the best form of protection for you. Is it a piece of jewellery that you hold in items of conflict, or a crystal that you can focus on, or surrounding yourself in white light or a bubble. Or figure out what your Patronus or Daemon is. Find what works for you.

​Have you noticed how happy people attract happy people? Have you noticed how the "moaners" of the world seem to congregate together? Have you noticed the huddles of those who have "victim syndrome" around the tea machine. Who are you surrounded with? Are people happy or complaining when they are around you. Are they looking at life with love and joy or with fear and distrust? I'll be honest, in 2016 to 2017 I'd got to a point of no return of being in a negative spiral. In fact I set up a Facebook Group of my friends to support me on my "Happiness Quest", it became a coping mechanism for me. Some friends really understood why I'd done it, others couldn't get their head around the concept. You see I realised that for me my natural form of escapism has been books, movies and stories in all their forms. The Magic Faraway Tree as a child got me through childhood traumas, untimely deaths, seriously ill friends and relatives, etc. Even up until my late 30's when I was feeling bad I'd curl up and read it, a safe place to go where I could dream of eating pop biscuits  with MoonFace and Silky in his little round room with the slide going to the bottom of the tree. I longed for fairies to come and take me away, of vampires kidnapping me to a better life, of  becoming a real life witch with the power of invisibility. Even as an adult I'd dream this could happen, that I could freeze time like Piper from Charmed. Always dreaming my form of a "white knight, on a charger" coming to "rescue me". Knowing full well I already had all these powers within me, if I'd only trust myself. By having this Happiness Quest group I decided to use it as a place to write stories. I'd turn people I was having conflict with into characters - the Red Queen, The Weasel, the vampire, the slippery toad etc. I'd rant and rave, I'd vent but in a story form. My friends were amazing, offering words of advice in story narrative. Things like "I challenge these fiends to a duel" from one friend, another saying how they'd beat up me enemy's, though admittedly only up to their knees. It may seem silly, but oh my it made me laugh. It made me take tiny steps out of the dark place, I was to see a slither of light in the distance.By turning my "aggressors" into fictitious characters they became less threatening. In meetings in the real world, I'd imagine them as the characters and they became less intimidating to me. I started to recognise who they were under the masks, the RED Queen a hippy, dippy chick who had lost herself to power and fortune. Yet, she was so unhappy, her subjects miserable and hating her. And I could see the same was happening to me. No longer was I Sunshine with sparkly eyes, now I walked with head bent and rounded shoulders, my eyes dull, the magic gone. I was turning into a whinging old hag, feeling sorry for myself, feeling trapped and the more I allowed myself to become a victim, the more miserable I became and the more I attracted other victims to me and more people complaining to me. When I resigned from my job I realised I didn't like who I was becoming and who the people I spent most of my time with, were becoming. Perhaps they were becoming that because of me? The day I resigned I went skipping and spinning down the promenade at Llandudno before going to see the Shires in concert. I cried to every song as my heart felt like it  had been released from a cage that had been constricting it for so long. Every lyric felt like it was written just for me. I still remember my husband saying "I've got my girl back" and I knew that this was the right decision to make. Yet I had no idea how far I'd still got to go. Working my notice period I went from being ecstatic to despair. I'd get my head around leaving and people would try and persuade me to stay. Yet I'd started to change. A couple of people resigned, like me with no job to go to. Others started looking for other jobs, 1 even said they'd been inspired by me doing it and ironically left before I did. Every day was a rollercoaster of emotions, yet I also noticed a difference. People were begging me to make time to go for lunch, for tea - people I'd hardly spoken with before. I remember saying to my husband - "if this had happened before, I might have stayed" - yet it wasn't really them, it was me. I'd changed and I was the person they'd met 7 years previous and was the person they wanted to be around again. I saw a colleague from another company 6 weeks after I'd left I still remember there words "Wow, look at you!" I asked what they meant and they explained how I'd been wearing darker clothes, walking more stooped every time they'd seen me, but now I walked with my head held high. I'd allowed myself to become something I wasn't and I'd been too fearful to jump and do what my heart was trying to tell me to do. It's almost 12 months since I left and now most people around me seem different, more positive and appreciative of the world, no longer being victim's or moaners. The same people who last year were saying they hated their jobs, they now love them. Is it them. No, it's probably just me. In the past I was down and "hated" my job so people empathise and "hate their jobs too" . Now I love my life they empathise and "love their lives too". I'd, unknowingly created that miserable world by not nurturing my passions, not caring for my mojo and not caring for me. Now I am top of my list, I'm the director of my own story and creating the future that I want and I deserve. I am my own superhero and have the power within me to do whatever I want in life.

We can really find empowerment when we let go of the past and let go of any difficulties that have been hampering our lives, our work , our relationships. If we can release the need to see ourselves as a victim, of holding onto the polarities of good and bad, right and wrong, we can access our own deep inner strength. If we listen to our instincts, to our gut we can hear our true path and true meaning. And if we accept that everything happens for a reason and that both positive and negative things are there for us to learn from, then our strength can become an amazing power to behold. This week my values of right and wrong were challenged by some people I was working with. Honesty, trust and authenticity are important to me and all were being challenged. I was angry, I was hurt, I felt incredibly sad that this relationship had got to this point. When I have a conversation with someone I have to go away and reflect before responding. So on the phone I can be incredibly polite even though I can feel the anger starting to boil. I often respond back in writing to ensure my voice is heard. I felt betrayed and used, but I know to step away. Was I taking this too personally? I reflected back over the coming hours to the conversation I'd had and I realised all that was happening was the universe was pointing me away from this route, which in my gut, I knew I needed to do. It was sucking time from what I love and it was another obstacle hampering my life and my work. In reality it was the last bit of my old life hanging onto me "for dear life". Yet on reflection the way this relationship had developed had not started off on the right footing, but the fundamentals of what these people will do is right there within my values to help others. Ironically I know I could make it a success but I also understand the amount of work involved and they don't seem to. So I'm stepping away. This whole incident linked into my ego, limiting beliefs around money, confidence and my own capabilities. By letting it go, I can regain a deeper inner strength that will make my future blossom. The following morning, having shifted my mindset, 2 new opportunities burst into my life. This feel like another lesson teaching me that I am the director of my own life, not others. I can look at life from a different perspective and see that I can create everything within me and around me. Whether that is confidence, self belief, relationships, my home, my work or money, it is all within my power. So today as I access my own inner strength I ask you to do the same. Whether you've been having a difficult time and feel that life has been unfair to you. Even if it may feel a struggle to carry on, please know that you can choose to release those feelings of resentment by imagining them floating away from you. Remember that you, the world around you is all perfect and now it's your time to love and forgive yourself so that you can create a new amazing future. Tap into your infinite strength and be the director of your own destiny.

When was the last time you felt utter bliss in your life? When did you stop and think, "Wow, this is my life, this is what I have created". Can you remember moments of bliss in your life? A few weekends ago it was a glorious sunny day, I had a friend staying and we all "chilled out" outside. It was glorious and it was then that I thought this is "bliss". We are all so rushed off our feet we often forget those amazing blissful moments in our lives and don't stop to be thoughtful and enjoy the moment. Last weekend I was in Larg's in Scotland on a mindfulness retreat run by Catherine Brannan, here we were encouraged to do everything mindfully, from walking on the beach, to eating breakfast in the woods, to cooking, washing up and breathing in a mindful way. It was the first time I'd done mindfulness and it made me realise how much of this I do in my life already. I love to walk on my own focusing on my steps, to go swimming focusing on my strokes and to sit on my own eating breakfast savouring the taste. I'd never really thought of it as mindfulness, just my little moments of bliss where I recharge and reenergise myself. When I go on holiday to the Llyn Peninsula in North Wales I love body boarding. I stand in the sea and watch "tick, tock, tick tock" just like the Guiness ad, waiting for the perfect wave. So I've started to think of moments of bliss in my life that have stuck with me and have given me that "magical tingle" - these moments are the ones defining my business for the future as I want to have as much bliss in my life as possible. Who wouldn't? When did you last feel bliss? Let me give you examples of the things that make me feel like this to see what inspires you; 1)hanging out the washing on the line - yep I know you're thinking "really" but if I'm hanging out the washing on the line it means I am home, the weather is nice and I am in my garden. A small moment of bliss. 2) Sitting in my garden listening to the birds (preferably early in the morning or late at night when no one is around and there is no traffic). 3) Star gazing - my husband and I often get the sun loungers out on clear nights and lie watching the stars. We wrap up in blankets and depending on the time of year hats, gloves and thermals - and lie watching the sky. We always see shooting stars. Its even better on holiday on the Llyn Peninsula with no light pollution. 4) Walks down the lanes in the early morning or of an evening when everyone is in their homes. Saturday nights are often the quietest. I love doing it on Christmas Day too. 5) Going for mystery tours along the one track lanes where I live in our Landrover - finding secret spots and beautiful magical places. 6) Baking and cooking at my own pace. 7) The moment after a declutter and clean of the house when my home looks like a photo from a magazine. 8) Browsing my local bookstore Booka in Oswestry www.bookabookshop.co.uk and sitting and drinking tea and eating big slabs of home made cake. 9) Having a magnificent massage at one of my favourite places - The Scented Garden in Chester where I've been going for over 17 years - www.scented-garden.co.uk - or at the Lake Vyrnwy Hotel spa - www.lakevyrnwy.com 10) Nights at the Lake Vyrnwy Hotel and walks around the lake, its one of my magical places and was lucky enough to run some team days there in my previous life. Then there are my blissful moments imbedded in my memory which we often forget but now I like to remind myself of them; 11) My wedding day at Gwydir Castle - writing this has reminded me to go and visit again soon. www.gwydircastle.co.uk 12) Malta particularly the Upper Baraka Gardens where my husband proposed to me, www.maltainfoguide.com/upper-barakka-gardens 13) The Eden Project in Cornwall - I was very privileged to have been invited to attend a course there to give feedback and assess it. It meant I got to see behind the scenes at the Project and got to experience the domes at night, including meeting a shaman and witnessing a wonderful acrobatic display from their inside, hot air ballon. Just thinking about it makes my heart swell. www.edenproject.com 14) Going to the Bach Flower Remedies Centre in Oxfordshire - just thinking about it makes me sparkle, stepping into this place gave me such an intense feeling, which I feel just thinking about it. www.bachcentre.com 15) Attending the Mindfulness in Nature weekend in Larg's - www.yesyourentireself.com I could go on and on. Can you think of your moments of bliss? I'll be honest it is only since I've started my new life and my new business that I've reconnected with this and it's taken me months to rediscover myself, my passions, and what I adore in life. We all get lost in the day to day. We rush from one thing to another. We never stop to be mindful and to have "blissful" moments. I think for women especially we can lose our identities - mother, lover, wife, sister, daughter, carer, partner, bread-winner, house keeper, cook, peace keeper... - and thats without your work identity. So stop for a moment, breathe and find a moment of bliss. It might only be small, but try to remember your moments of bliss. Let me know if you find them.

Today, is 1st May, May Day or Beltane - it's a celebration of fertility, creativity, purification, growth. It's a time to reconnect with nature, with adventure and a time to make changes in your life as the full energy of life pops up in all living beings around us. I'm reminded of growth and see this as a real turning point in the year as the flowers and leaves burst into life. Each plant follows its own natural cycles and the genes within them have developed to recognise the change in day light and temperature so that they know when to flower, to grow and when to hibernate. We as humans have forgotten these cycles of birth, growth and hibernation, and keep going not having time to recuperate, and rest, and review our life and learnings. That personal reflection time is essential for all of us to grow and develop, but often when we learn something that could really help us, we will be energised at that moment, but resume to sleepwalking through life so quickly, that soon we forget what we've learnt. And then there is the knowledge we have that we take for granted. We assume that everyone has had the same privileges as us, the same opportunities for growth and learning, yet many have not. When I developed my first coaching course I was worried I would not give enough knowledge, but the feedback was actually I was giving too much. I often have to pause and reflect. To remember that I have been on my journey of self-discovery for a long time and that I need to go back to basics to help others. It was a mindfulness retreat in Larg in Scotland this weekend that reminded me I have so much I can share and to "not worry" so much about if I'm giving enough. I am. There are many who'd love the support and knowledge the community I'm developing will offer. So this May Day, I push forward. Just like our forefathers & mothers I will drive forward and let go of the past, just as they would have driven their cattle through the Beltane bonfire flames, for fertility and to get rids of the mites! I'll share my knowledge of self care from the aspects of coaching like Time Line Therapy, hypnotherapy and NLP. I'll help people rediscover themselves, as I did with Myers Briggs. I'll share self care techniques with aromatherapy, with herbs, with Bach flower remedies. I'll share the wisdom of my great gran mother who was the local "wise woman" the one you'd call to birth your wife or calf your cow. I'll share the knowledge of the past and of the future. At this time of purification I'll declutter my mind and my home and release my knowledge and ideas to all. Remember, we all have so much to give, so much to share. Let this May be the time of change, of adventure and of sharing your knowledge and gifts. Start your own path to self-discovery, reconnect with what you love, and share your knowledge to her others grow. This Beltane start a new life that you will love.

I don't know if it's the sunshine or just being outside for almost 12 hours yesterday, but I feel full of energy and life and ideas. I've had a truly amazing weekend, relaxing with my dear friend L and my hubby. I did lots of cooking, I'm a feeder, I made some hand cream from scratch, gave my friend a load of books she wanted, the charity she works with 3 bags of DVD's to sell, a coat for her daughter and a dress and a top for her. I felt happy and it was so nice seeing both L and my hubby relaxing and chilling out. By the end of the day they felt spaced out with relaxation, no drugs or alcohol needed, and both slept really well. And I felt so happy about this. It's OK to look after others as long as it isn't to the detriment of yourself. My friend was saying - run a cafe, a restaurant, make your hand creams, and pointing out in the bookshop today all the books I should write. I love her company and its always essential we have at least one friend where the relationship is balanced. Being an empath friendships can be difficult - often it can feel like you are thrown on the scrap heap when the person has drained you dry, but if you find the right friendships they can support you to. L is a fellow introvert and comes to stay with me for some R&R time. I love the fact than when friends stay at my home they feel so comfortable they'll kick off their shoes, put on their PJ's and sit happily in a corner of the house or in the garden reading. The only disturbance is me occasionally asking if they want something to eat or drink or to go for a walk. I've always had a dream of one day running a retreat from the large home that I will own one day, which will be near the sea or in the countryside away from others in Wales. In some ways I've dropped these dreams due to the exhaustion I often feel being around others, but actually I would like to do it. It wouldn't be open all the time, just certain times of the year. I see it as being a retreat for empath's, sensitive soul's and introverts. I'd have clear house rules for the extrovert empath's out there, as I'd want it to be a quiet reflective place, but even extroverts need some quiet time. I'd have lots of unusual little places dotted throughout my land for people to escape and read or just stare at nature. I'll have water close by - the sea, a river, a waterfall a lake etc and I'll have my own private woodland. I dream of have benches in hidden honeysuckle covered alcoves, gypsies caravans, small tents, hammocks and huts, swings for adults and a place for peace and contentment. Within this place I could run all the aspects of my business, my coaching, art, herbs, flower remedies, gardening, aromatherapy, writing and my love of nature and the environment. We'd have star gazing evenings and meals around a camp fire at night, an outdoor cinema in an old barn with old leather sofa's and a wood burner for heat. This is my dream. This weekend I felt it right to my core how this will feel. What it will look like, what I will hear. I feel like I have a real sense of purpose and content with life. Being outdoors in nature (my garden and the lanes near my house) always energises me as does being in or near water. I love bodyboarding and swimming and this weekend I've thought of the times I've felt this content and magical. I'm noting it all down and reminding myself I can have the energy and life I want. I can be true to my empathic nature, without exhausting myself. I can be me.

Do you think you're born a sensitive soul/empath or made into one by your circumstances? The debate is the same as for anyone really. Nature or nurture and even now it's not clear which is the overriding factor. According to Judith Orloff in her book, The Empath's survival guide, there are some subtle differences between being an empath and being a sensitive person. Highly Sensitive People as Psychologist Elaine Aron calls us (HSP's) have a low threshold for stimulation, have a need for alone time, can be sensitive to light, sound, smell and have an aversion to large groups. Not great traits for a world full of noise, lights, sounds, smells and people everywhere. We also take a lot longer to wind down after a busy day because our body, mind and spirit take longer to transition from periods of high stimulation to quiet time. Hence we love being in nature and quiet environments. Love a library, museum or bookshop anyone? So you can be a HSP and an Empath and in many ways they are similar. Empath's  take it further by being able to sense the subtle energies around all living things, remember we're all made of energy, empaths can sense it in a way that others cannot and will absorb these energies into their own bodies without even realising it. We can struggle to differentiate someone else's discomfort from our own and some empath's can have profound spiritual and intuitive experiences. Some are even able to communicate with animals, nature and their inner guides. Now some of this may have been passed down via genetics or from the way your parents raise you. Equally you may not notice anyone else like you in your family right through history because these are often traits that we are taught to hide or medicate.The common factor is that as empath's we haven't learned how to deal with and defend against stress in the way others have. Sometimes this may have potentially been worn down due to being in a household where the child was exposed to some form of neglect, abuse, or through alcoholic, depressed or narcissistic parents. Or even due to long term illness as a child or through life. Equally some form of major trauma can cause the system to overload and for a child to loose the ability to deal with stress. Whatever the cause of a person being an empath or HSP we do know that our threshold for sensory overload is extremely low. Think back to your childhood what do you remember about yourself? Or what have people said about you as a child? I was always collecting "waif's and stray's" often in animal, insect and bird form but also with people too. I always loved school and loved learning, but I always needed to go for a walk in nature when I got home. I remember going for walks around the fields of the farm we lived in with my dog, my cats and I even had a duck at one point joining me on my walks. I loved being in nature and would crave to get out in the fields and to just sit and be. I felt only the animals really understood me and equally I understood them. I could sense a cow was ill before anyone else. Even the more moody cows would respond to me. I'd be the one sent in to calm an animal down if it was trapped, or hurt or frightened. My local vets tried everything to get me to become a vet and it was the first career choice I considered as a child, however just like I can feel for humans I can feel for animals too and realised I couldn't put a healthy animal down if needed. I knew I'd have no problem putting an injured animal down and often I am the one saying we should put an animal down before everyone else, as I know it's the right thing to do. My relationships with my pets were intense and I would be much more upset about one of my pets dying than any human, but equally if a chicken or a duck was taken by a fox, I could really understand the foxes need and would never blame them. I also eat meat, but choose free range and organic where possible and like to honour the animal by ensuring I do not waste anything. Hence I always boil up my chicken carcass to make a chicken broth. However, I have heard of some empaths who cannot eat meat due to the intensity of the feelings they have. You see being an empath isn't just about empathy i.e. understand the joy or discomfort a person or animal is going through, you actually feel what they are feeling and can find it hard to distinguish what is you and what is them. When I look back to my childhood from an early age I can see the empath in me and I can also remember trying to block it out as I got older, recognising that in this modern world they are traits often seen as a sign of weakness. I also had a number of trauma's in my childhood, like many people do, and I can see how I tried to block out my emotions, but equally even when I tried to block them I was feeling more than others, but I hid it away and did not deal with those trauma's until I was in my 30's when I was diagnosed with CFS/M.E. I think there is an element of genetics and circumstance for me. I know that both my dad's and my mom's families are both interesting background. My great grandma on one side being the person called to for a cow calving or the wife birthing. From an early age I've had a natural affinity with healing plants and herbs and I now know she was an accomplished herb woman. And on the other side of the family there is a link to gypsies via another great granny and I mean the proper gypsies the ones who have immaculate homes and gardens.(not that my house and garden is!) I've heard jokes in the family about certain family traits skipping a few generations and i like to think my empathy comes from these two Grannies who were phenomenal women. One thing I do know, is since I dropped the mask and set up my own business I can embrace my natural abilities, the ones that come easily to me like my herbs, my empathic skills and my intuition and I can truly use it to help others. Look at what you loved as a child and if you embrace any of it now. If your child or teenage self walked into your home what would they think of it? If they shadowed you in your job what would they think? I know mine would think it was really cool and it's the sort of home and life I'd dream of having. Whether you're an empath, a highly sensitive person, someone who is sensitive or someone who has more empathy than others, think about where you came from? Think about your natural gifts and think about are you doing what your intuition is telling you that your life purpose is for.

I'll be honest today has been a rough day. I'm on antibiotics for an insect bite and I find most medication really knock me about, as do insect bites (they love the taste of me). In Judith Orloff's book The Empaths survival guide it says that empaths are often more sensitive to medication than others and I definitely am. However, is my sensitivity to medications different in any way to others? I guess we'll never know. So of course being run down & tired due to lack of sleep, has made me more sensitive than normal, (or my normal) and perhaps that's why a conversation with my husband today jarred and hurt more than normal. But it did remind me of something... I'm currently re-reading Judith's book and reminding myself of some things I had forgotten, but one thing people don't realise is that for those of us with a sensitive empathic nature, life can be quite lonely. Sometimes we bring it on ourselves when we need to shut off from the over stimulated world, but other times it's because it's hard to make people understand what we go through, so it's easier to try to lock away our emotions than discuss what is happening to us. We learn from an early age that people don't want to know. Does it scare them? Empathy was a sign of being a witch during the witch trials so perhaps it does. I tried to have a conversation about it today with my husband, who I love dearly. He is so supportive on so many things, yet he can be so very skeptical. If there is no pure harden science behind it, he dismisses it and states it can't be true. Whereas I believe there is so much that science doesn't yet understand and we should have open minds to it. I tried to discuss today with him about a story I'd read on the BBC website http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-43572639?SThisFB and before I'd even finished my sentence he'd dismissed it. I then tried to continue the conversation about how I could relate to what was being said in this article, but again he wouldn't let me finish a sentence and hear my side of the argument. I tried to tell him how him not listening to me made me feel, but again he cut me off before I could speak. In the end I decided today wasn't a day to have this conversation with him. He was barbed like a hawthorn and each comment felt like a wound in my neck. (I find negativity always goes into my neck). Something is off with him and he doesn't want to share. So I close myself off. I tried to explain to him a scenario I had in the past, but as I can't explain to him why it happens in a logical way, he didn't want to know. I desperately want to help him to understand, we agree on so many things but this is obviously one he cannot get his head around. So I will wait and close these thoughts and feelings away again and wait until a time when I am less sensitive than I am now. However, I wonder how many of you find yourself in the same place, not able to talk to anyone about your empathic sensitive nature. Often we don't even realise that what we feel is different to others we assume everyone feels the same as us. I remember realising I was different when I trained as an aromatherapist in my 20's. I love herbs and aromatherapy and find it fascinating, but the reason I did not pursue with it as a career was because of the way it made me feel. During my training my tutor said she'd never met someone like me before. Every client when I went through the client questionnaire would open up and tell me things they'd never told another person. I remember one lady breaking down and telling me about herself and then looking at me and saying "I don't know you, why did I tell you this?". But it wasn't this that was the problem. When I gave treatments to certain people it was like a blackness came out of their bodies and crawled up my arms into my body. It was a darkness I couldn't explain and I soon decided I couldn't do treatments anymore. I've since learnt techniques to ground myself and protect myself and it may be I could have used these to carry on in that profession, but I was young then and hindsight is always a wonderful thing. Every empath will have different sensitivities and it can be so hard for them to talk and share their stories. Like those with Synaesthesia in the news article, there is so much we don't know about the human mind, body and spirit. Yet we shouldn't dismiss it. I love sci fi and currently watching back to back box sets of Marvels Agents of Shield. In it people are transformed into "inhuman" via a process called terrigenesis. They say that every inhuman is there for a reason, to bring balance into the ecosystem. I believe the same is true for all humans, we just don't know it yet.