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I've always felt like I don't belong, that I'm different from everyone else. I'm sure many of you feel the same way. I often feel like I'm standing on the sidelines looking in on the world around me, watching it like a movie. Yet, I'm hyper-sensitive of other people's emotions & feelings. Sometimes this can feel totally overwhelming and I have to disappear to my comfort zone or get out into nature or one of my magical places to reconnect. Because of this I like to live in my own inner world, a world I find easier to understand and control, but I also have had to learn how to cope with the world around me. I've got it wrong many times and my sensitive empathic abilities I've found to be a curse as well as a gift. I can be so sensitive to others emotions that if I do not put up my protective barriers I absorb their emotions and can even reenact them and in some ways make them "mine". I've always found these situations terrifying, but often didn't realise what was happening until it was too late. And so, this has made me come across as inconsistent, perhaps slightly mad and in some ways I was. All of us are brought up within institutions that make us conform, but when you're a sensitive soul this can be crushing not just mentally but physically. So for me, although I've developed my "masks" and techniques for surviving in this world, it is only in the last year that I've started to embrace my sensitive empathic gifts. I can now see that by using my own experience I can help others. Over the coming months and weeks, I'm going to share some of my own experiences and coping techniques in the hope that my story will inspire others to embrace their true self. I know that I need to embrace and nurture my sensitivity, my intuitive powers and my empathy and now I can do that. I'm constantly looking for new ways and old ones, to nourish my inner self and strengthen my connection with my soul.

I talk about finding your inner mojo and as a coach that is what I really want to help people to rediscover, but in reality I have a different name for that,"certain something" that makes me who I am. It's my inner witch. Everyone will have a different term for that feeling you have inside that makes you unique. Some it will be their spirit, their soul, their mojo, their self and for me it's my inner witch. We live in a world where we have so many rules we need to obey and ways we should conform that often we live behind a mask and do not embrace our self. That was me. Since leaving my job to focus on my coaching and writing I have realised how important it is for me to really embrace my inner witch, to unlock my own natural gifts and abilities and use them to help others. Now witch is an interesting word. I asked a question across social media a few weeks ago and the word "witch" conjures up so much emotion, both positive and negative. I've always seen it as a positive word and over the last few weeks as I've been reviewing the responses I got, I wanted to explore why I felt it's the word for me and why its positive. What I realise is that throughout my childhood and growing up to be an adult I always felt and still feel a bit on the outside of society looking in. I have often had very different interests to the people I work with and surround me and I know I have a strong set of beliefs and values which drive me forward in my life. Throughout my life people have called me a witch, mostly in a positive way due to my empathic nature which means people will open up and tell me things they have never told others. I also have this weird, cat, dog and injured animal thing going on where they appear at my door or jump in my car even in a place I've never been before. Over the last few months people I have only met for a few hours, have said, "Sorry, can I ask, this might be a bit weird and I've never asked it before of anyone, but are you a witch?" OK I have white streaks at the front of my hair (it's actually because i'm going grey so its easier to manage and I am in discussions with my hairdresser the best time and way to go grey completely), I also do wear unusual clothing compared to others, but on asking people they say I have a certain "something" about me and I can see now it's my inner mojo, spirit, witch, soul etc showing more and more as I embrace who I am. As a child I was drawn to books, stories about witches. I used to read the Misty annuals which were about witches and the supernatural. And even now I am drawn to books, and films of the same topic or about super hero's. On reflection I realise the reason I have always been drawn to such media is because they are the stories that represent women as strong. Whether a witch is portrayed as "good or evil" - she is still portrayed as being strong. I don't do romance stories. It drives me mad when I'm reading a good book and suddenly they are running through a meadow looking into each others eyes. You can tell when I get to this part in a book, I start huffing and puffing and flicking the pages rapidly. If there are 100 vampires after you, and you are about to die, you are not going to go all gooey eyed - sorry I love my husband dearly but if my life was in danger I'd be screaming orders at him about what to do next, not kissing him. Anyway, rant over. So for me embracing my inner witch is embracing who I am. Embracing myself as a strong woman in control of her own destiny. Someone who takes no crap from anyone. Someone who cares for herself so she knows she has the energy to care for the people around her and to care for the environment around her too. Its about embracing many things that we all do everyday. Where does science end and magic begin? If you went back only 200 years and showed someone your mobile phone they'd accuse you of sorcery (Remember the last person in the UK to be tried for Witchcraft was in 1944 and the Witchcraft act was only repealed in 1951). Switching on your lights or central heating, driving a car all of this would have been seen as magic in the past. Now, many of us will use positive affirmations, prayers, law of attraction to help us in our lives. Spells are exactly the same thing, some are just words like prayers, others use herbs, crystals or incense just as some religions do when they pray. Many modern medicines are based on herbs which "witches" would have dispensed in the past - Asprin anyone? Based on salicylic acid which can be found in Willow bark. Digoxin is derived from Foxgloves and can help with congestive heart failure. People were burned at the stake for being empathic and even now people can find those who are deeply empathic unnerving. People get scared about what they don't understand hence why so many intelligent strong women (and men) were burnt as witches. What I have learned in my NLP & hypnosis training would certainly have been classed as witchcraft in the past. On my last course when we working with a pendulum doing the hypnosis training we had a surgeon who was in his 60's and it blew his mind. As he said, there is so much we don't yet understand about the human body and likewise there is so much we don't understand about the earth, the world, the universe around us. So for me I will continue to call my certain something my inner witch and I'll embrace her more each day. As I do I become stronger and more confident and know I can help more people to do the same. My inner witch is becoming my outer witch - that is I am a strong woman, I take ownership and accountability for my life, I will not sit around and wait for my dreams to be offered to me on a plate, I know I make my own dreams, I am there to help others and respect them, their culture and their needs. I'm aware of how small I am in the universe and I am grateful for everything around me. I adore nature and I'm ecologically aware. I know that everything is linked and I embrace science and I embrace "magic" as one, just the latter we do not yet understand. Embracing my inner witch is about my own inner strength, resulting in the confidence to change my own circumstances and embracing my spiritual and ethical awareness. I don't just ask for help, I make positive moves to bring about the change I desire as only I can change my destiny. I do this, whilst being true to me, respecting others and the world around. So how will you embrace your inner witch, your mojo, your soul, your self? How will you embrace you?

January has gone and I find it is always one of those strange months, don't you? There is the this anticipation of new beginnings, with a contradictory feeling of "bleurgh" - why "bleurgh" well it's not really sadness, and it's not disappointment, but its of wanting more but not knowing where to go. The nights are still dark and the glow of the holiday celebrations a distance memory. Is it really the month to make new resolutions and make changes? NO, I don't believe it is. It's a month when we should recharge and hibernate. Yet we head off to the gym and plan to diet on salads when we should be cosying up with soup and books and wearing jumpers and fluffy socks, wrapped in lush blankets. I didn't do the gym and diet thing but I did do the "lets get going, lets put loads of energy into driving forward and starting the year off as I wanted it to go". Yet that isn't what happened. On January 1st I'd anticipated I'd have been doing something different, but that thing, that I thought, as you do, was the right thing, wasn't. I said"NO". We've all said,"no" in our lives but this one was a stop the world moment. I'd worked hard on preparation, I'd put in a lot of my energy and I kept finding I was not getting answers. My gut was telling me something wasn't right, but people around me and my conscious mind were saying to plough ahead, this would be great. I decided to set a deadline, and on that day the offer I'd been anticipating came through, yet it felt so wrong. We've all been there. You nod politely, they are saying everything you thought you wanted to hear, yet your stomach is churning, something isn't quite right and you can't put your finger on it can you? I listened to the whole telephone conversation and as I comprehended each word I realised what it would mean to say, "Yes" it would mean I would lose my freedom. As I put down the phone and said that"I'd get back to them" I knew my answer, it was "NO". I slept on my decision, to make sure, but the next morning I knew that my decisions was correct and even though logic said I should say,"Yes" I knew I had to say,"NO". When I pressed send on that email I felt an incredible lightness and I felt an incredible clarity. As though all the stars had aligned and I now truly knew my ultimate purpose and what I should do. I took the pressure off my self and did what one should do in January, you know, I rested, I recharged and I looked to the future with kind and gentle eyes, and I waited. Since I said, "NO" more opportunities have arisen, better opportunities, ones that align with me. I can now clearly see how all my knowledge links together and how I can help others on their journey and it feels a good place to be. So I go into February with fresh ideas, fresh eyes, - the nights are getting lighter, the snowdrops are blooming and the daffodils are in the shops so I can fill my home with colour. Now is when I can start planning for 2018, now is when I can start thinking of the future. Now is when I can be me. February is still a time to ease into things, so don't rush, rest and enjoy those cold days and dark evenings, just as the plants and animals do, recharge for the year ahead, jot down those ideas. It will soon be spring when the energy in all of us rises, embrace change then and watch the new growth grow. If you don't want to miss a blog subscribe for my regular newsletter, blog posts and UK Mojo Coach news.

On 2nd December 2016, I pressed send on my resignation email. I gave 6 months notice and I remember thinking at the time that it would be so long until the following December. I couldn't even imagine what my life and world would be like so far in advance. I felt excited and terrified, but also like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders. 12 months has gone in a flash. I still remember vividly the evening of 1st December 2016 - how on my way home from work I clipped a kerb and later veered across the white line of the dual carriageway, I was so tired. I remember the silly argument I had with my husband. I remember throwing something at him. it was a cushion, but it would have been whatever was next to my left hand, a cushion, a lamp, a knife... I still remember storming out of the house, walking along the roads of my village tears streaming down my face. Cursing to myself that I hadn't grabbed my car keys. I needed quiet and all around me was noise and lights. Everything seemed really loud and really bright. I found myself by a pond, the trees reflecting in it like a mirror. Still. Quiet. I longed to step down into it, to find another world on the other side. Somewhere quiet. Somewhere still. I didn't want to kill myself. I just wanted everything to stop. That night my husband told me to quit my job, I said I'd sleep on it. The next day I was working from home, I received some emails and I could feel the stress building up inside me. My heart beating faster, the sick feeling in my stomach. There and then I knew this had to stop. I typed my resignation email and pressed send. When my husband came in bringing me a tea I calmly said, "I've resigned. I've given 6 months notice and finish 2nd June 2017." I took the rest of the day off sick with stress. I just couldn't function anymore. That evening I had already got tickets to a concert in Llandudno to see the Shires. We left early and I remember skipping down the promenade and swirling around in the sea breeze. My husband looked at me and hugging me said: "I've got my girl back". Those words alone were powerful enough to remind me I'd made the right decision. The 6 months notice period was awful. I went from joy to despair, to regret, to "Oh no, what have I done" every day. I had the Managing Director in the UK and then the CEO of the whole company persuading me to stay, and I almost did. But when he left too and I saw others quitting I knew I had to carry on. Yet up until 2nd June, I still didn't really believe I was leaving, but I did. The last 6 months I am sure has gone faster than any year in my life to date and what 6 months its been. I had won my first contract before I left my job. I threw myself into learning, personal development and training. How I'd missed this. How I'd missed learning. I trained in facilitation, completed my Myers Briggs (MBTI) training, became a qualified NLP practitioner. I've learnt how to build websites, make videos, use design packages, how to write blogs. I've read and devoured every bit of learning I can. I was like a sponge that hadn't been exposed to water for years and I wanted and still want to learn, learn, learn. Even when I sprained my ankle, I just saw it as a message to slow down. My natural sunny disposition returned and I became a glass 'half full' person again. I've made lots of new friends and connections via the face to face and the online courses. From everyone, I learn something new. I've become an Ambassador for my favourite women's magazine Psychologies and I'm so excited about being part of this community. I've won the top award an individual in the UK Packaging Industry can get for Outstanding Contribution to the Industry 2017. Me, I won that. I had lost so much confidence in my own abilities and had allowed other peoples negativity to drag me down. Only by stepping away could I see how I'd let this all seep in and change me. it feels like I'm really understanding who I am and what I like. I've been incredibly fortunate to - people have given me free legal advice, free PR, free design work. And I've achieved things I would never have been able to before - I've put together my draft proposal for a self-help book and almost completed the 1st draft of my second children's book. I feel healthier and happier. Everything is brighter. Every day I try to do something to live my dream. The self doubt fairy does bash me over the head every so often and I do still get a sick feeling in my stomach about where my next money is coming from. It isn't easy, but its good knowing all the energy I am putting in is for me. Next year I've booked 1 week on holiday in Feb, 2 weeks in June and 1 week in Sept. Something I couldn't have done before. And in January my learning continues as I take the next step in my NLP training to become an NLP coach. My husband and my parents have given me so much support and to my surprise, my savings have lasted longer than I imagined. Everyone has an addiction of some kind which comes out when they are stressed and mine was shopping. No, it hasn't been plain sailing as you've seen from some of my previous blogs, but if I could go back to me 12 months ago I wouldn't change a thing. Sometimes we have to jump, we have to take a risk. I really don't regret taking this jump, in fact, I wish I'd done it sooner, however, I don't think I was in the right frame of mind. I've dreamed for years of having December "off". But "off" has a different meaning now, I'll be pulling together my online training courses, and putting together my marketing strategy for 2018. When you do things for yourself you don't mind working, as it doesn't feel like work. Would I advise anyone to do it the way I did? Probably not, most people it wouldn't suit to be as mad as me. But remember, you only have this life once, you spend most of your time in work. If it's making you miserable is it worth it? No one will remember you for sitting at a desk doing your job. it won't be written on my headstone or be mentioned on my deathbed that "she won Outstanding Contribution to the Packaging Industry in 2017" (even though it is nice) Do something every day to live your dream. Do something every day to live your life. Have no regrets. Love life, Live life and just be.

Hello, today I want to talk about hangovers & superhero's. Not the alcohol type of hangover you all know, but the overstimulation hangover. And not the Marvel comic Superhero's but those true ones who know you. For those of you who don't know, I am an introvert who has spent her life operating as an extrovert, 7 years ago I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS/M.E.) and I now realise that operating outside my preferences is what drove me to burn out. I'm currently suffering my overstimulation hangover. My symptoms now amplified with my chronic fatigue. Though I've always felt some of this even before I was diagnosed with CFS, but then I didn't understand what it was or understand that I should stop and rest. I knew this week was going to be an overstimulation week, hence why I'd already blocked out my diary for today, to just rest. And I so need it. Think about a hangover you've had. A headache, slight nausea, feel like you've been run over by a bus, every fibre of your body aching. You're thinking it isn't a hangover you've got the flu, but after a few hours and a goodnights sleep you start feeling better. My hangover is similar, it normally arrives 24 hours after the event. The event I attend was on Wednesday evening (its friday morning now) and it was alot more stimulation than I expected it to be. It was an amazing night, a night I'll never forget as I was given the most prestigious award in the packaging industry, outstanding contribution to the industry award. But today I pay for it. Today I can barely walk down the stairs, My fingers ache and feel stiff as I type. When I'm tired I type backwards, words all muddled and back to front and inside out. My head is foggy, a dull thud in the background. My nose is running, my eyes are streaming. When I stand up I feel like I will faint. Every joint, every muscle, every cell hurts. The lights are too bright, the central heating too noisy, my body feels like lead. Yet I was awake at 6am because I cannot sleep. I will probably just lie on the sofa and stare into oblivion, even reading, my normal solace, is too much. It's these days I long for my dream house in Wales overlooking the sea, I want big skies and no people. And just to be. Yet I could be much worse. Because there are things I've learnt. I know to keep alcohol levels low. I still drink, but not as much. I don't need an alcohol hangover on top of this. I need to stay hydrated and I need to ensure I eat good wholesome food, even though I don't feel like eating. The other two thing I have learnt is I also need to ensure I have a band of superheros with me at these events and to be true to myself. Now that I can be true to myself and not be the face of an organisation, just me, these big awards events are easier. I only have to be me, not the organisation I work for. As rarely do my values link with theirs. I've noticed the organisers often sit me next to people who have a similar interest, so no painful small talk but deep and meaningful conversations, this makes life easier for me. I dress like me, so even though a black tie do, I wore Dr Marten sparkly boots with my comfy dress. It was a busy night. Even before the award was announced I had streams of people coming to say hello. The gentleman I was sat with joked I was a celebrity. It's interesting that my Myers Briggs Type, INFP, is often mistaken for an extrovert. When the award was announced at the latter end of the evening, I was physically shaking. I dearly hoped for an earthquake at that very moment in time. Before my name was mentioned the audience had already started to figure out, as had I, that the person they were speaking about was me. Everyone was pointing at me mouthing 'its you'. The rest of the evening went into a whirl, up on stage, photos, applause and then the acceptance speech. And this is where my superheros were needed. Everyone said I gave a speech from the heart, thats what I do, and no one could believe I didn't prepare for it. I just spoke, but when I did my speech I only saw certain people, my superheros. I spoke to them, as far as I was concerned and even when I think back now, I only see them. I was whisked off the stage for interviews and more photos, and then was stopped by all the many well wishers, everyone wanting to shake my hand, wish me well, introduce themselves. For me a sea of faces, a sea of voices and a real feeling of being lost and lonely. Lonely in a world full of people talking about you and to you. But then my superheros appeared. My superhero friends are extroverts. The ones who look at me and say 'shall we go', who chaperone me out of the crowds and into a taxi. Who circle around me, butt into a conversation to get me away from people I'm being too polite to. Who know I need to get out, who know I need to rest. The ones who get me a drink, who hug me for a little bit longer than most to give me the space and to protect me from the energies of the world. In a few weeks or months time I'll celebrate properly, with my Superhero's in a small restaurant, where they can all be delightfully loud and I can just be me. And now I need to rest, because for this introvert there will now be more events like this to come, but I know to ensure I rest before and after and to always have a band of superheros to protect and support me. So if you're an introvert. Always book time out the day after big social events. Its OK to hide in the toilets when you're there. Let your friends know you're an introvert and tell them how they can be your superheros. Leave when you need to. Finally remember, they may be loud and brash superhero's, but you are their superhero, the one who listens and doesn't judge and you use your superpowers in a quiet one on one situation. So you support & balance each other.

Some of you know that I'm a writer. What you may not know is I'm not only writing children's fiction, but also self help non-fiction. I'm writing about how to help people overcome exhaustion, in this fast paced world. How to find your comfort zone, as it's here that you recharge. An idea for a chapter popped into my head the other day, and it was one that I hadn't considered before. It's about what we wear. How often do you wear clothing, shoes, make-up or hair products that just don't feel you? When you look in the mirror what you see isn't you, but it's a person you think the world wants you to be. Often we shrug it off as not making sense, sometimes we have to conform. Don't we? I know I'm perhaps more sensitive than most when it comes to what I wear, yet it took me until I was almost 40 years old before I realised what the problem was, and to find the courage to not conform, and find the style and look I love and feel comfortable in. You see, deciding what to wear used to exhaust me. You've all been there I'm sure. Looking through your wardrobe, nothing is right for what you need. So you "throw" something on and then spend the rest of the day wriggling and fidgeting as you try to get comfortable. Isn't that exhausting too? As I've got older I now know what suits me and here is what I've learnt; 1) Heels - my centre of balance is thrown out and I spend my whole time feeling like I'm going to tumble over flat on my face. I've owned 2 pairs of heels that were comfortable - both had a platform sole, so the heel wasn't that high in comparison. So about 1-2 years ago I ditched the heels. I'm now "officially" the Imelda Marcos of Dr Marten boots. I have black satin ones for black tie do's, they go great with my slinky Vivienne Westwood dress. I've got blue, and silver velvet ones and some black sparkly ones. And day time is easy. I'm comfortable. No more worrying about falling flat on my face, going on a stage to speak. No more worrying about tripping up or down stairs. No having to have a change of shoes for walking from the car to the venue. It was so tiring in heels, always having to think about how to walk. So now I don't need to think when I walk and can just be. A shed load of energy saved every day. 2) Hair - other than my 1980's perm through my teenage years, the most fancy thing that I've done to my hair was at my friends wedding, I was bridesmaid, the hairdresser did a fancy scroll work on my head. It looked beautiful, I kept wanting to pull it out all day. It was beautiful. On my wedding day no one did my hair. I washed it in the morning and that was it. Because I was in Wales and the water was so soft, it went into a lovely Farah Fawcett flick without me having to do anything. However, I do insist on a good hair cut and colour every 5 weeks, and after that I forget about it. Most of the time I don't even dry it. Saves time and save energy. Result. 3) Make-up - when i was at school, like all 80's teenagers I covered my beautiful teenage skin in foundation etc. On my 17th birthday, my neighbours Alsatian did me a big favour. It jumped up and bit me in the face, tearing open my lip almost up to my nose. Even now, over 20 years later, I cannot wear make-up around my mouth for long periods of time without it irritating. All I do is where a little eye makeup, and foundation is only for posh do's. I always feel weird when I wear foundation, it makes me fidgety and self conscious. So I save time, money and energy too. Yet another result. 4) Clothes - this took me quite some time to figure out, but now I have, I am, in dressing up heaven. Clothes shopping always left me feeling grouchy and drained. I hated it, and would just buy things without trying them on to avoid the horrors of the changing room. I'd get the clothes home, not really like them and then couldn't be bothered taking them back. Sound familiar? About 5 years ago we received a memo in work saying we had to wear suit jackets and "dress appropriate to our level in the organisation". This is how to bring out the rebel in me, so I went into the most unusual boutique in my local city, determined not to dress like everyone else. Up until that point I'd worn trousers and a simple top. Not now, I'm rarely seen out of skirts and dresses. This boutique is my heaven. Its great fun to shop there and the clothing makes me feel amazing. I have dresses which I wear over leggings and a vest top, which feel as comfortable as pyjamas yet make me look fab. Who knew you could look glam and still be comfortable. Then there is that Vivienne Westwood dress - its slinky, its sexy, it keeps me covered, I can wear it with my DM's. It rolls up into a rucksack. When I wore it to an event a few years ago, I can honestly say it was the first time I've ever gone to a black tie do and felt comfortable. Everyone said how amazing I looked and the reason? It was because I was relaxed. I generally find these events tiring, yet this time I didn't. Because I was comfortable. 5) And last but not least - underwear. Mine is now simple, warm and comfortable. Sod fashion - the only person who see's my undies is my husband and he married me for who I am, not a bit of frilly lace which scratches and irritates. Men get to wear comfy boxer shorts yet women are expected to wear bits of fabric up their arses. Not for me. Big knickers are the future. (You heard it hear first!) So find your comfort clothes - I know people who find heels are like slippers to them and others who kick them off under the desk, I know people comfortable in body con dresses and others only in jogging bottoms and a fleece top. Embrace what is right for you, don't waste your time and energy on things that don't make you feel comfortable and feel great. Dress for you not anyone else.

Today I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with life. It's a feeling I've lived with for a long time, however since I left my job in June this has not happened to me. I was feeling in control, I felt I had traction and could see the future. I was irritatingly bright and perky. Now it feels like a fog has engulfed me and I'm struggling to wade through it. What has caused this change? Well, I think I am suffering from "clock change jet lag" and I wonder how many of you are feeling that sluggishness since the change at the weekend. When I used to travel to Europe with work, that 1 hour time difference would completely mess me up, especially as they started work earlier than us, so often I was having to be in work 2 - 3 hours earlier than I was used to. Now with this simple 1 hour change I feel fatigue and exhaustion. Its made me doubt my abilities, wonder if doing what I am doing is right or if I am absolutely insane to be setting up my own business. This is when it's really important to know what recharges you, who you should interact with and who you should avoid, otherwise you can get taken deeper into the depths of that exhaustive fog. This is something that I could probably have shaken off, however a night without sleep spent in hospital with a loved one has made my batteries run to rock bottom. This morning was difficult. Those old pains that I have not felt for months creeping into my joints and bones. The feeling of lead in my veins and arteries. So today is about self care. For me I need to wake slowly and now I have the luxury to do this. I know many of you don't. Though I am sure you have felt the same at some point in your life. I find a warm bath with essentials oils helps. It slowly wakes up my aching muscles. I followed this with a hot shower to wash my hair. I then lay on the bed for 5 minutes. I have to do everything slowly. I need to be hydrated so lots of herb teas and food that refresh and replenish. Foods that don't need to much energy to digest. I will read, I will rest and I will daydream. I need to allow my thoughts to scatter across the sky like clouds in the wind, until they neatly reorganise themselves and the feelings subside. I know what I need to do to recharge. I know what I need to do to rest. I know who to avoid and where to go. But many of us don't and if we don't know we will burn out. Then we can't help anyone, least of all ourselves.

Autumn is my favourite time of year. The colour of the leaves, that icy chill in the wind like cold fingers brushing your neck, the smell of wood burning fires, the wind whistling through the bare branches and the dark winter nights. It's a time to snuggle and a time to rest or "Cwtch up" on the sofa if you live in Wales. This morning I woke with that gravelly feel in the back of my throat, my glands swollen, my body aching. I sneezed about five times before having a coughing fit. My first Autumn cold... In the past I was working in an office and would, like most people, have got up and rushed into work. By the end of the day I'd have been exhausted, or should I say more exhausted than normal. I wouldn't have listened to my body, to the signs that I needed to stop for a little while. I'd have continued until I became so ill that I couldn't move. That is the modern world we live in. If you take time off then you get disciplined, always the rules catering for the minority that take time off work when not ill. So people go into work with illnesses and perform less efficiently. Mistakes happen, things take longer and they pass their illness onto others. So instead of allowing that person to take a day or few hours off, or come in a bit later each morning and leave a bit earlier for a few days, or allowing them to work from home - they are forced into the work place and ironically the companies that employ people lose more hours due to lost productivity. I now work for myself and fortunately I don't have any appointments today. I got up and had a fresh ginger tea, followed by porridge with raw cacao powder, ashwangda powder, honey and ginger. I have an air mister pumping out a water mist with Eucalyptus, Cypress and Pine to clear the air. I've had some Elderberry syrup and some Echinacea in warm water. All I have done is snuggle up under my blanket in my cosy office, reading magazines and supping my herb tea. I've noted down some ideas for future courses and I've just chilled and rested. Already the glands have retreated and are no longer swollen, I haven't sneezed or coughed since and I can feel my body is appreciating the time to rest and fight the illness. But this is a luxury that most people don't have. Since leaving my job my exhaustion has gone and now I embrace who I am, but days like today remind me how lucky I am to be following my own path and my own dreams. Whilst on holiday last week on the beautiful Llyn Peninsula (which I have pictured above) I realised that my "genius" area (a term used when setting up your own business) is fighting fatigue and exhaustion. I've lived with it for so long and carried on going. I've learned what works and what doesn't, more importantly I now understand how to recharge myself. So my niche is going to be coaching people to overcome fatigue. This way I can use my experience and training to really help others by running online and 1 day course's, retreats in Wales and 1 to 1 coaching. Everything I do has taken me to this place. When doing my NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) training a few weeks ago I discovered some amazing techniques and I left there feeling more alive than ever. One technique in particular resonated with me Time Line Therapy. This is a beautiful technique for dealing with hurt, anger, grief, sadness and fear. The beauty of it is that you don't have to relive your past trauma's like in traditional therapies and for so many that is a real blessing. Since having this done my head feels so clear, just like when you have a menthol steam inhalation, though its lasted for weeks. My mind feels scrubbed clean and life is so much brighter and so positive. I train in this technique end January and also in Hypnotherapy, another technique I'd have said no to in the past, though now realise what amazing benefits it has to offer. For me I am already looking forward to a new year, a new life where I can help others.

Have you ever felt like something isn't quite right, but don't know what it is? Have you ever felt disconnected? Though you're not sure what you're disconnected from? Like you're looking for something but don't know what? Do you search the internet hoping it will give you an answer to a question that you don't know? That's exactly how I've felt for more years than I care to remember. I've spent years looking for something that was missing, going through the day to day motions, working in jobs that I did well, but never felt right. Purchasing treats, stuff and things as my next fix to help me get through the next day, the next week, the next year. Every Christmas, every holiday, saying this was the year I'd do something different, but within hours returning to my daily routine. I had quite a number of moments I should have stopped and re-evaluated; - Glandular Fever - bouts of stress induced illness - IBS, asthma, headaches - being diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, endometriosis and adenomyosis - My brother dying suddenly - my dad and mom being ill - friends and loved ones dying from cancer, car accidents, even murder... The normal stuff all of us go through in life. But not one of those things made me stop and re-evaluate... This all changed on 1st December 2016. I was so tired, I almost crashed the car driving home. When I got home I argued with my husband (we never argue). I threw something at him (I've never done this in my life), admittedly it was only a cushion, but it would have been whatever was near my left hand. I stormed out of the house and disappeared for 2 hours just wearing a dress, leggings and slippers on a cold winters night. I walked through the village - stomping down the street, tears streaming down my face. I wished I'd picked up my car keys so I could drive away, but didn't dare return to the house. I was so ashamed of my actions, but also so angry, so frustrated, so tired and so scared. What was happening to me? I ended up by a small pond. I stood gazing at the perfect reflection and imagined there were steps going down into another world. A world where I could lie down. A world where I could silence all the voices, all the noise of this world. I didn't want to kill myself. I wanted quiet... The next day I resigned from my job, giving 6 months notice, having no idea what I'd do next, but I knew I needed to find that missing thing. Roughly 9 months later... It's funny looking back, but that 6 months notice period was one of the most stressful times of my life. I've coped with worse - yet not having a job to go to, the first time in my life where I wouldn't be employed since I was 13/14 years old, was one of the scariest things I've ever done. I can say now it's the best thing I've done. I really wouldn't recommend doing it unless it's a last resort, but that's where I'd got to, this was my last resort. Looking back I can laugh, but I'm a completely different person and that's what's made me develop this website. I've learnt so much, particularly in these last few years and I really wish there'd been somewhere to go to help me figure out, what it was that was missing from my life. I've had counselling and coaching in various forms - and although they were useful for some aspects, they weren't helping me find that missing thing. I also realise that they aren't for everyone. If I'd had this, I may not have quit my job, though I may just have done it in a less stressful way. I realise talking to people, that many have gone through what I have, or are going through it now. Some are in the early stages. Some may be getting close to making a rash decision like me, or be on long term sick. But many people just don't know where to turn or what to do. They don't think they're ill so why would they go to a doctor or a counsellor? They want to help themselves, just like they'd do if they had a sports injury. And there is the Taboo. l realise there is still so much "Taboo" around looking after your mind and spirit. Yet everyone will have a need to nurture their mind and spirit in their lives at some point, just as everyone will have some form of illness that impacts the body. I want to make taking care of the mind and spirit, as normal as going to the gym or doing exercise for your body. Why do I want to do this? Well I've always liked helping people, that's me and I really don't want anyone to go through what i did that night or what I've seen others go through. I'm hoping that the tools and techniques I show, will help people find that thing that is missing or isn't working for them. If I can help just one person, that will be a real blessing, but let's give people some tools to help themselves. Going back to my story - what was I looking for? 1) Me - I didn't know who I truly was. I'd spent my life operating as a leader, living up to, what I thought, were the expectations of the world. I didn't do things which were congruent with my values and beliefs. I did what I thought other people expected of me. 2) My comfort zone - everyone tells you to step outside your comfort zone, like it's a bad place to be. I've done that all my life. Yet now I know operating in my preferred way is where I gain energy. Yet I hardly went there! No wonder I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome! A mobile phone has to be recharged daily, if you use all the features, yet I was only recharging myself twice a year on 1 week holidays and was using all my apps fully. 3) My spirit - Some of you might call this your 'self', your soul, your being, etc. We all need to look after the spirit - my husband is an excellent example - he has to play guitar everyday, even when we go on holiday we have a guitar in the car. (we rarely go abroad!) That's how he connects with his inner self or for our purposes the spirit. I've learnt I need to do something with what I call my 'Wytchy" side - using herbs, aromatherapy, crystals - for cooking, beauty, in the garden or crafting gifts and tokens for good fortune. 4) My mind - when was the last time you learnt something? I'd stopped, not out of choice, but I was too tired to do anything outside work. I tried to do it in work, but there was little opportunity to develop in my profession. I'm now spending time learning, I can't learn fast enough. I love it. 5) My body - how often do you talk about your body like it isn't connected to you - that was me. My body this, my body that. So I'm listening to it more, acting on the messages it sends me and through it, finding the exercise and food I love. 6) Reconnecting with my values and beliefs - working against them is exhausting and now I've reconnected, it brings me light, energy and opportunity. 7) The connection to bring all of the above together - over the centuries mind and body have been separated by the medical professions. Yet as any of you know if you have any issues in your mind, it impacts your body and your spirit. If you have any issues in your body it impacts your mind and spirit. And if you neglect your spirit then it impacts everything. I am now in a place I never imagined existed. I sleep for 8 hours and feel refreshed - in the past I'd have said it was impossible to feel good on only 8 hours sleep, I really thought I should just sleep for ever. My outlook on life is positive - I see more wonder and opportunities and they land on my doorstep. I listen for the signs - I sprained my ankle and realised actually it was the universe making me stop, slow down and go in the right direction. It's really made me appreciate how fortunate I am to be able to walk. I have will power - food, drink, spending. -- (Though may still have a book problem!). I want to eat healthy, I want to exercise. I never thought this possible. I know you're thinking - well it's ok for you, you've quit your job. Yes and for me that's what I had to do. But we're all different, some of you may need to make a career change. Some of you may just need guidance into how to make the job you have now the one you love. No one should get to the point I did. So just like an exercise routine for your body, I'm developing routines and habits for your mind and spirit. But first of all we have to find out your comfort zone, your preferences, what your values and beliefs are - so that you can reconnect and make a brighter future for your 'self', by learning new skills to develop you. Every time I help someone, I'll grow and together we'll learn to bring about balance. I look forward to welcoming you into this community and to a bright new future.