Last week I wrote about the word sexy, but on writing it I realised that as an empath and highly sensitive person that I am experiencing something that not everyone does.
Here are some quotes from Deborah Harkness's book a Discovery of Witches
"my skin tingled as it always did when another witch looked at me"
"Suddenly two icy patches bloomed between my shoulder blades. I had been seen, and not by an ordinary human observer. When one witch studies another, the touch of their eyes tingles. When a daemon takes a look, I feel the slight nerving pressure of a kiss. But when a vampire stares, it feels cold, focused and dangerous"
"two nudges pressed against my cheekbone, as gentle and fleeting as a kiss"
These are all descriptions from Diana Bishop the lead character a witch in the book. I completely related to this story and to the words from the vampire Mathew de Clermont, who says about her shimmering and shining so brightly "that even the humans were bound to notice"
When in my last blog I said about people "checking me out" I assumed everyone knew when someone looked at them. That everyone felt the "nudge" "the tingle" but I then remember not everyone does.
All my life I've felt these sensations when someone glances in your direction and you turn.
I was in my local town the other day, and felt a really strong prickling sensation along the right side of my body. It was intense as though someone was gently kissing or tickling my skin. As it was raining and I had my hood up I swivelled and turned, just to see the face of a man in a van looking at me and then they were gone. Now it was someone I knew, they saw me a few days later and said "didn't you see me", but this has happened all my life.
Its also a warning sign. The icy blooms mentioned above I have got on a couple of occasions and on both I have run for my life. One as a teenage girl, the car the stare came from doing a handbrake turn in the road whilst I ran like hell, and they raced after me, screeched into the carpark of the pub I was going to, I just got into the safety of the building and then they sped off.
And 12- 18 months ago on one of my walks where I live, where a man came towards me and I felt the icy blooms and knew I was in danger. Did I go back the way I came down lonely lanes, go forward, stop. None were an option so I went forward and heard his pace quicken behind me and his breathing, fortunately a car came and I was able to dodge around it as he leapt into the hedge cursing. I got around the bend and ran into the village to look back and see him standing in the distance and watching him turn around and go back.
Everyone has this sixth sense, but often we dismiss it as nonsense. Look at how many animals can sense another animal or person to avoid. Think of those people who make your skin crawl. Listen to these senses.
Mine are amplified compared to others. Hence why being in crowds of people can be exhausting for me. Feeling all their feelings if I don't get my barriers right.
I'm also aware I can shine and shimmer brightly - even more so now, as I become true to myself and people will look and not know why they look at me.
But this is also why I can sense when people are "checking me out" and there are two feelings - the one that makes me feel slightly sick, as I can feel they are not looking at me in a pleasant way, but more in the lecherous way. I'd best describe this as how I imagine it would feel to have a snake slither over your body. I feel invaded, assaulted and I desire to shower and be away from them.
Then there is the pleasant way - the nudge - a bit like the daemon above a slight kiss, tickle tingle. It comes and goes and when you turn to see often they will smile, will drop their eyes with a look that says they are both pleased that you looked at them but also mortified that you'd spotted them.
Now in a world of social media and dating apps. we stand to loose these senses even more. To get that genuine feeling from someone that they are kind, they are nice or to get the warning signs.
In my younger years I was taught to dismiss such feelings - even though they saved my life on many occasion. Now I am older I embrace them. I know I now shimmer and shine even brighter than I did before and that is my power, that is my right and I will not dim my light because of those who look without kindness.
But I do know that all of you have these abilities in you, they are not lost, just hidden.
Spend 1 minute everyday listening to your inner voice, your wise woman, your inner soul, spirit, sage. What are they telling you? Who should you connect with? Who should you avoid?
Sit in a cafe or a park and focus on a spot in front of you and feel if you can sense any tingles, any nudges, any icy patches. It will feel different to each of us, but find it, listen to it. The love of your life may actually be a few metres from you and yet you do not see, you do not feel, you do not hear the messages around you.