Diary of a Sensitive Soul - no 20- Shine Bright
I’ve been on Rhiw Mountain for 1and a half weeks, my first week a free week from the owners of my cottage.
I’d wanted a week here alone and the universe provided.
You see I had a niggle, an itch I really needed to scratch, a niggle that niggled and niggled that something needed to change, some lesson, some step needed to be made.
I’ve learnt many a lesson in the last 16 months since leaving my corporate role and I can see the path leading to my future. I am more in the present and more in the now.
But what was this feeling? What was this niggle?
I couldn’t place my finger on it? But the answers have come thick and fast this last week and all delivering the same message.
Know my purpose, know my objective, be authentic, be true, allow my inner wise woman to breath, grow and unfurl so that she shines brightly to all.
Stop dimming my light as I have been told to do all my life.
It came to me in many ways;
Via earth - the beauty of the landscape, the colour of the autumn leaves, the eating of fresh blackberries, the watching of wildlife, the unicorns on the hillside, the hawthorn berries shimmering red, the yellow of the gorse, the purple of the heather, the rocks and the energy from earth giving life to all around. It came via man made messages - episodes of Good Witch, Star Trek, watching films - The Craft, Harry Potter. It came from the books I was reading and the books my husband is reading - Light is the new Black, 12 rules for life, Times Convert, it came via my oracle cards. It came from my Surfgirl magazine and a copy of the Daily Post and random books on the shelves in the cottage I am in. It came from the favours of the food that I cooked and concocted and the herbs I add to bring enticing flavours.
Via air - howling winds, breaking waves, seeing “charms of goldfinches” flitting like pieces of gold across the sky, in “the party of Jay’s” that keep flying over the house, the “murder or crows and ravens," the “congregation of choughs”. It came to me in the clouds shaped like dragons, like victorian ladies and faces smiling down at me. It came to me in the butterflies, including the one that landed and roosted on my hand. It cam to me in the swallows and house martins swooping around me as I walked up the mountains where winds made me feel like I could fly. From the music, the sound, the language which seeps into me as I spend more time here.
via water - the sea sometimes blue, sometimes silver, other times gold, then grey, turquoise, green and blue, or orange in a beautiful sunset. The water in the air, bringing rainbows across the fields or in the clouds above, mixing with moonlight and sunlight to flood my world with colour. In the rain that tap danced on the roof sounding like a thousand elves welcoming this pure elixir, in the milk from the local farm, full creamy and sweet. It came in the still sea looking like a piece of glass, the blue sea looking like a place in the mediterranean, the beaches I walked along and the streams I crossed. From the feeling you get standing under the shower and when you slip into a silky bath of water. The pull of the silver full moon on the tides of the earth and my being.
Via fire - from the sun bringing warmth, rainbows, light, and beautiful sunsets, the logs burning bright on the fire, the flames changing colour from gold, to orange, red to purple, blue to green. The candles flickering and the lights giving a warm glow. The warmth of the radiators and the water I washed in. The stars burning brightly in the sky, seeing shooting stars and Arcturus in the western sky flitting the colours of the rainbow and Mars glowing red. The spice in my food and my herb teas and the glow of passion and love.
I devoured the sights that I saw, the colours of the natural world, the beauty in it and the man-made world, the beauty of the art at the local gallery.
I listened to the sounds - birds, wind, rain, waves, water, cows, grasshoppers, sheeps, horses, jets flying high overhead. Music I played in the house, the crackle of the fire and most of all I listened to the silence.
I tasted the salt on my lips from the sea, the basil on my sandwich, the fruit, vegetables and other food I ate.
I smelled the change of the season - log fires burning, autumn leaves, earth, moss and sea.
I felt the wind on my face, the rain and sun on my skin. I felt warm, I felt cold. I felt the softness of the faux fur jacket I bought to keep me warm.
I thought about life, the universe, I asked questions, I researched, I found what I needed and I asked more questions.
And I found me.
I found the same message over and over again - I need to stop dimming my light and I need to shine bright by being me and relishing each experience whether it is new or if it is old. I can experience each day as a new beginning.
I recalled every instance I’ve been told to dim my inner wise woman, to dim my light and I’ll be honest I thought I was embracing her authenticity, I thought I was allowing her to flourish, but I was still allowing her to be trapped inside.
I went out on Monday, my wedding anniversary, and I shone bright and I mean really bright. I felt and I looked like me, like the amazing wise woman I am and I allowed her to flourish and strut her stuff. This isn’t about releasing the ego. No, my ego would have wanted something different, my ego is a named thing and a named thing is a tamed thing. No, I let out my inner wise woman and I shone.
I held my head up high and I laughed and I smiled and I saw even more wonder in the world than I normally do (I didn’t think it was even possible!).
As I passed people I could see them looking and part of me felt like I should dim my light, but I didn’t I looked them directly in the eye and smiled at them a fabulous full on smile and do you know what I got in return - people not just smiling back at me, but absolutely grinning back at me full of light and as they did that I looked back to see them smile at people and the light transferring from soul to soul. Bouncing around like rainbows.
And when I say smile I don’t mean the half-hearted smiles that we normally do, I mean to really smile. Smile with your whole face, your mouth, your eyes, your cheeks, smile with your body, smile with your heart, with your soul, with your spirit and from that most important place, your inner wise woman.
I did that and I felt alive, so alive.
And that is the answer to my niggle, that itch that needed to be scratched. I need to shine bright and by shining bright my life purpose to help as many women as possible to find their inner wise woman will grow and allow others to shine brightly too, as that is how we truly bring magic into our lives.
Shine bright wise women, shine bright.
Brightest of all blessings,
The Magical Mojo Coach