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  • Writer's pictureHaulwen Nicholas

What ways can you feel less depleted?



 What energises one person will drain another so again it’s about getting to know yourself, which many people think they do until they stop and have a chance to really peel back those masks, they wear to perform the tasks of life.


Find below 10 things you can do to prevent feeling drained so often:


·      It's a good idea to consult with a healthcare professional to rule out any underlying medical issues. Vitamin D, B12, and iron deficiencies can all cause you to feel tired and fatigued. If you are in your late 30’s to mid 50’s, perimenopause and then menopause can be really draining, and younger than this for those who menstruate, just our general menstrual cycles can drain us too. Always check there are no underlying health conditions first and don’t be afraid to ask and push for help and support.

·      Keep a diary – monitor if there is a reoccurring pattern to your fatigue. Are you tired at a particular stage of your menstrual cycle? If you don’t have a menstrual cycle, can you still see a reoccurring pattern. Make notes on the weather, the environment, where you were, and who you were with and what you are doing, so you can understand what drains you.

·      Identify your personality type – knowing your own preferences will help you to set boundaries and remind you of what energises you and what you find more challenging and drains you. Just finding out if you are an introvert or extrovert, I have found to be life changing for many women I coach, this has helped them to change their approach to life and set those important boundaries around their health.

·      Do a simple energy audit of your life - for example  list your daily tasks and say which energises you and which drain you. For, anything you find more draining is there a way to delegate this to someone else, automate it or stop doing it. If it’s not possible then can you reduce time doing this. You can do this for places you visit, the tasks in your job or even people.

·      Sleep – sleep is unique to you. And you need to find a way to get quality sleep. Throw out the rule book and find your unique sleep approach. It maybe you prefer to go to sleep at midnight and wake at 8am. Or you may prefer to go to bed early and wake at 5am. Find your natural rhythm. If you are in a relationship, do you prefer to sleep on your own or together? There is a societal expectation in the UK for those in relationships to sleep in the same bed, but if it doesn’t work for you, and you have the space, could you have 2 single beds in the same room or have two separate bedrooms. My husband and I sleep separately and the amount of people who say, “I wish I could do that” and when I ask why they can’t, they often have never considered it, as they feel they should. (I’ve known women in a 3–5-bedroom house where the children have left home, still sleeping with a snoring husband. And they worry about offending the husband rather than having a good night’s sleep).

·      Stop people pleasing & pace your life for you. Understanding your personality can help you with setting boundaries, to stop people pleasing, but they can also help you to learn how to pace your life for you. We operate at 100 miles an hour and often it’s to please others. It’s OK to say no because you have scheduled rest into your life to suit you. It’s OK to create a life at your own pace, not dictated by others.

·      Express real gratitude. There is a lot of guilt gratitude and toxic positivity out there. Gratitude needs to be felt deeply, not just a chore that we do each day because “we should”. It’s ok to be dissatisfied with parts of your life, as long as you aren’t dwelling on it and are looking for solutions.

·      Worrying about life can be depleting – set up a worry box in your mind. Every time a worry comes into your mind. Consciously say to yourself I will focus on this worry at the dedicated time. Put the thought in your worry box and then dedicate a fixed time each day e.g. 6pm and a fixed amount of time to dwell on your worries e.g. 10 minutes. Use a timer and allow time for your mind to process the worries.

·      Take your lunch break – stop and eat. If you are an introvert eat on your own, go and sit in your car in the carpark, find a quiet corner but get away from your work area. If you are an extrovert, arrange to meet up with a fellow likeminded extrovert. Switch off your phones and focus on the task of eating - notice the taste, the smell and texture of your food and be in the moment.

·      Set work boundaries – switch off your work phone, don’t take your laptop home or have a box by the door where work stuff is placed , so you can put on the lid and switch off. Have a ritual at the end of the day such as taking a shower, changing your clothes, going for a walk, sitting with a cup of tea. This will become a trigger for your mind, body and spirt that the workday is over.

·      Of course there is the usual things;

o   Reduce the amount of news you consume

o   Reduce time on social media

o   Stay hydrated

o   Eat well

o   Get quality sleep and if you don’t, get help.

o   Set realistic goals.

o   Journal



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